Ep. 161: Raw & Unfiltered: What Brazilian Sex Hotels Can Teach You About Passion

[00:03] Opening Excerpt

Ep. 161: Raw & Unfiltered: What Brazilian Sex Hotels Can Teach You About Passion

Host: Dr. Kanwal Bawa | Guest: Marcelo | Runtime: 26:00 | Published: December 24, 2024

Dr. Bawa: I was looking up sex hotels in general, and I came across this story about Ronaldo, the soccer player, who dropped his girlfriend off and then picked up three women he thought were prostitutes, and they turned out to be men. He wasn't into that concept. He tried to get them to leave, offered to pay them to leave, and then one of them blackmailed him.

Marcelo: Yeah, at least that's what the media says. In Brazil, we understand that's not exactly the, but I'm not going to get into that.

[00:41] Welcome: Brazilian Sex Hotels

Dr. Bawa: Welcome to America's top sexuality podcast, Dr. Sex Fairy. I am Dr. Kanwal Bawa, America's favorite sex doctor, and I am here to transform your life. Today we are exploring a fascinating concept: Brazilian sex hotels, or motels as they are known in Brazil. But this episode is not about the hotels themselves, it is about what they represent. These spaces are a celebration of intimacy, adventure, and connection. They encourage couples to step out of the ordinary and into a world where passion and playfulness take center stage. So, what can we learn from this bold Brazilian approach to intimacy? How can we incorporate that spirit of spontaneity, romance, and freedom into our own lives? To help us answer these questions, I am joined by a guest from Brazil who lives in the U. S.

Dr. Bawa: and will share insights into the cultural mindset behind these hotels and why they are so much more than just a place to go have sex. This conversation will inspire you to rethink the way you approach intimacy and connection and introduce you to the art of keeping the flame alive. Welcome to the Dr. Sex Fairy Podcast, Marcello. It's so great to have you back.

Marcelo: Thank you, Dr. Sex Fairy. It's nice to be back here.

[02:05] How Brazilian Motels Began

Dr. Bawa: We had a great conversation back in November on episode 155 about seven reasons why no-nut November is a waste of your time. And it was such a great episode that I thought I'd bring another one of our conversations back on the air. You and I were discussing Brazilian sex hotels. You're Brazilian and they're really a thing in Brazil, aren't they?

Marcelo: Yeah, they are. They really are. It's actually a Brazilian invention. They started there. So it first came from the motels that you guys have here in the U.S., dating back to the early 1920s. It's a place where, when you're on a road trip, you just stop for a night and then go back on the road. That's where we got the M in motel, because it comes from motor and hotel. But in Brazil, we made it a little different. I would say it was in the late '60s. It was a rough moment in our country, and that's when people started using short stays for sexual purposes.

Dr. Bawa: Just a little romp.

Marcelo: Yeah, exactly. And the purpose is exactly like that. You don't sleep there, you just go there, do what you have to do, and go home.

Dr. Bawa: Interesting. So you get your thing on and then you go home.

Marcelo: Yeah, it started like that because you we had a military government back there, it was in the 60s into the 80s, and that was kind of like escape, like a place that you go to escape from everything was going on.

[03:29] Sexual Openness, Privacy and Judgment

Dr. Bawa: I find it very interesting that Brazil is a very sexually open culture in many ways, and the human body is celebrated. Look at all the string bikinis running around on those beautiful beaches. But when it comes to sex hotels or motels as they're called in Brazil, they're still a little on the down low, aren't they? People don't really advertise the fact that they're going with these secret garages where you drive in and you don't even see another person and nobody sees you parked outside. It's kind of hush-hush in some ways.

Marcelo: Yeah, that's right. It's because when they first started going to the motels, some people start going with not exactly with their wives and husbands. So they used to bring lovers that yeah, naughty, naughty. So even though we are very open about sex there, it normally the girls they don't like to be seen coming out of a motel, even if it's even if it's with a boyfriend or even the husband.

Dr. Bawa: Interesting, they don't want to be judged or seen as skanky.

Marcelo: Exactly. And it's not like that. You know, when you go to a motel in Brazil, you have the facility is like amazing, it's clean, it's spotless. You can do whatever you want to do there. It's not like a place that you pay you sometimes, some of them are really expensive. So it's not like a low-level place to go. It's just because you don't want to be judged.

[04:51] What Is Inside a Brazilian Motel?

Dr. Bawa: Interesting. And I've also read that they are themed. So you can have Arabian Knights or you can have you know BDSM themed stuff. Very interesting.

Marcelo: Yeah, so that's one thing that it's nice about the motels is that you get access to things that you don't have at home. Okay, so all those motels they have the jacuzzies, you have the saunas, you have within the room. Exactly, exactly. So you don't have to leave your room to go to your jacuzzi, to go to your sauna, to the swimming pool. and some of them have those BDSM sex chairs. You know, you don't have that at home. Nobody has that at home.

Dr. Bawa: Unless you build yourself a sex room.

Marcelo: Yeah, that's right, yeah. And the 50 Shades of Grey, right?

Dr. Bawa: Oh yeah.

Marcelo: I don't even think I would use one of those chairs because it's you know, you're kind of gross, but you know, I just wonder, can they truly sanitize them?

Dr. Bawa: The germophobe in me just doesn't believe it.

Marcelo: Well, I'd say not really. I don't think so. Yeah, because those rooms they are never empty. There are people coming and leaving every time. So I don't I don't think they have time to do that.

Dr. Bawa: Well, who knows? Even if they try, some of those, you know, surfaces are not exactly easy to sanitize. So my advice would be stay away from the BDSM-themed ones.

Marcelo: Yeah, and the jacuzzi's because people don't go to a jacuzzi to take a bath, they do other stuff in the jacuzzi.

Dr. Bawa: Yeah, so there's lots of bodily fluid in those in those waters, yes.

Marcelo: Yeah, but you know, when you're young and you're just enjoying your life, you really don't care about that. You just want to be inside the jacuzzi and go crazy, that's all.

Dr. Bawa: But it's still a fun place from everything I've heard. And there are mirrored ceilings and other kinky stuff in there.

Marcelo: Yeah, it is. It's the idea of being a place to escape from your routine, is it translates really well what a motel is.

[06:39] Who Uses Motels - and Why

Dr. Bawa: I was reading that people of all ages go to motels from people 18 years old to much older.

Marcelo: Yeah, so that's I was discussing this with my wife a while ago. There's a cultural difference between the US and Brazil when it comes to kids, like growing up kids. in Brazil, the kids stay with their parents until they are maybe 20, 21, because they go to university and normally four years, six years studying. And at that age, they are having sex. And where do they go to for that? They cannot actually go to their room and it's not nice, people don't like that. So they use the motels for that. So and that happens even before they are 18. You can only go to a motel if you're over 18, but you know, people don't care, and they do. And when we are growing older, it's it becomes more like an escape from your routine. If you're a married couple, you're going to find stuff that you don't have at home.

Marcelo: And you're going to have like, let's say you go to a motel and you stay, you pay for six hours there. You're not going to be sleeping, you're going to have six hours of something that you don't do at home because the purpose is that. Okay, it's not like a 20 minutes or a one-hour sexual encounter, six hours.

Dr. Bawa: Hey, you better be coming to Dr. Sex Fairy if you want to perform for six hours. I'm just saying, people, just saying, doing the Lord's work here.

Marcelo: That would help a lot.

Dr. Bawa: That explains why I have so many Brazilians flying to me. See, now we figured it out. They are getting ready for those marathon romps in the sex hotels in Rio.

[08:16] Privacy, Food and Room Service

Marcelo: Yeah, you need to be prepared. But when you get when you get there, there's so much, like so many things you can do there. You can, of course, you can eat. You can order your food inside the room. And it's funny because you don't see people there. I mean, the people who's going to serve you, they're not going to come into your room because of course you're going to be naked. So that's interesting. You just ordered over the phone, and they have like a corridor behind the bedroom, and they're going to ring your bell, like the bell once, and then you know there's someone serving the food on the dining room.

Dr. Bawa: Through a window or something in some cases.

Marcelo: But you have separate there's a door separating the dining room from the bedroom. They ring the bell once. Now you know you cannot go in the in the dining room because someone is there. You put he serves your food and then he rings the bell twice. Now you know I can go, I can just go eat my food, and then you leave the bedroom and go eat your food.

Dr. Bawa: That's awesome. And I've heard the food is pretty good depending on where you go.

Marcelo: It is, it is. It's a it's quality stuff. You know, you have like cheap hotels, you have cheap motels, but you have expensive hotels and expensive motels.

[09:24] A Billion-Dollar Industry

Dr. Bawa: I was reading a statistic that 61% of Brazilians aged 18 to 45 have visited a motel at least once in the past year. Those are big numbers.

Marcelo: It is, and I'm surprised it's not even bigger than that.

Dr. Bawa: Well, it's a billion-dollar industry from what I've read.

Marcelo: Yeah.

Marcelo: I normally say that if you want to make money, either you have a parking lot or a motel in Brazil.

Dr. Bawa: How about that?

Marcelo: Yeah.

Dr. Bawa: See, we should have a Dr. Sex Fairy motel in Brazil. How about that?

Marcelo: Yeah, definitely. It pays pretty well.

[09:55] Sex Hotels Around the World

Dr. Bawa: And we were also discussing earlier that Japan has a lot of sex hotels. In fact, they have the most in the world. So Brazilians may have created the concept in this part of the world, but Japan has had them for years, for a few centuries, actually. In fact, according to what I was reading, from the 17th century onwards, Japan has had sex hotels. And they're called love hotels there, of course. So according to Booking.com, Japan has the most, then there's Brazil, then there's France. Who would have thunk it? France. Hmm. Vietnam, Italy, India—India, where the hell are they in India? Belgium and Ecuador. In that order.

Marcelo: Yeah, that's interesting. And you don't have it here in the US.

Dr. Bawa: No, they're not a thing. Here it's considered something you do with maybe prostitutes or something like that.

Marcelo: And actually, it's a crime, like prostitution is a crime here in the U. S.

Dr. Bawa: Depending on where you are. Some states not so much. Nevada's having a good time.

[11:00] Stories, Swing Rooms and Scandal

Marcelo: Yeah, and you know what's funny about the motels? You hear all kinds of stories about them. You have famous soccer players going there; you think they're straight, and they go with other men to those places. If you just Google it, you're going to find a lot of funny stories about the motels. Of course, you have crime because sometimes a husband catches a wife with a lover in the motel, and you know—drama. You have people going into the motel with someone inside their trunk because normally you can only bring one partner with you. So it's a couple, and sometimes you want to bring a third person, and then you have to hide that. When you get to the front gate, you actually talk to someone. It's like a drive-thru. You talk to someone and place your order there:

Marcelo: “I want that room.” Okay, and you cannot bring an extra person in there. Sometimes they go inside the trunk.

Dr. Bawa: Oh, so you're not technically allowed to have a menage a trois or an orgy.

Marcelo: Yeah, not exactly, unless you pay extra. You have the swing rooms, yeah. And then you can bring a couple, and that then that's fine.

Dr. Bawa: But you have to pay for it.

Marcelo: Exactly, exactly. you bring in the trunk, you're cheating, you're not paying.

Dr. Bawa: Hmm.

Marcelo: But you know, that's the thing. It's normally used to be related to prostitution. So you get a hooker, you bring them to the motel, and sometimes that's where the crime happened because they try to steal your money, you steal your stuff. The guy is carrying a gun, boom, and give motels a bad name.

Dr. Bawa: But for the most part, they are safe. And they're fine.

Marcelo: No, definitely, yeah, they're fine.

[12:42] What Couples Can Learn From the Concept

Dr. Bawa: And I think the concept behind it is something that we can incorporate into our own lives. That's why we're having this discussion, because I think there's something to learn from it. A couple doesn't need a big production or a big vacation or even necessarily a staycation where you go to a hotel and spend a lot of money and spend a lot of time. This can be incorporated at home. The concept can anyway, where you perhaps do something different for a night, bring in some role play, or perhaps you bring in some toys. The concept of a sex hotel, I think, is universal.

Marcelo: Yeah, it is. and the ideas that you get from the motels kind of enrich your life as a as a married person. it just may it makes it easier for you to accept that because sometimes you think it's too much for you, but it's not.

Dr. Bawa: Brazil is one of the most sexually active countries in the world. I mean, hello, look at the people. They're beautiful, and they have those beaches and those string bikinis. So what else is going to happen? But I think allowing themselves to have these moments of pleasure, having these moments of change and novelty make all the difference in the world. It's a cultural phenomenon that transcends age. People of all ages are doing it. People with all kinds of social status are doing it because it's not just the rich. Even the people who don't have as much money are going to their own love hotels or motels.

[14:09] Safety, Strangers and Privacy

Marcelo: Yeah, that's right. And that there's another interesting about the motels. in Brazil, it's not safe to bring people that you just met to your place. It's not safe. You never know. a woman would never bring a man to her apartment on the first night. Things like that.

Dr. Bawa: Well, some do.

Marcelo: Some do, but in Brazil it's dangerous. You never know. It's different from the US. The reality is totally different. It's not safe.

Dr. Bawa: Well, frankly, my friend, I don't think it's safe even here. Yeah. People are doing it. I don't personally think it's a wise move because you don't know what you're inviting into your life. And then there's all this crime and people get killed, and then people wonder why. I'm not trying to be a party pooper. I'm not saying that spontaneity and wild, crazy sex with a hot stranger is necessarily a horrible thing. But I guess you have to hedge your bets. You have to think about it more than just as a hot romp in bed, because so much can go wrong.

Marcelo: Yeah. Yeah. And you don't want to you don't want to give away your address, your home address. So you don't want that person that you just met knowing a lot about your life on the first night.

Dr. Bawa: But you know the thing is, if they know your name, so much of what we do is public knowledge. You could see where somebody lives, even what they paid for their house. It's such an invasion of privacy.

Marcelo: Yeah, it is. But you're not giving that like easily for that person that probably drank some drinks. It's you know, that's not the kind of information you want to give away.

Dr. Bawa: Oh God, no. Besides, as a medical doctor, my mind always goes to what else are they giving you? What other STDs are involved? Did you use a condom? It's highly underrated protection, in my opinion.

Marcelo: Yeah, it's right. It's not safe in many levels.

[15:55] The Brazilian After-Party

Dr. Bawa: The other thing is sometimes when couples go out, they go to a bar, they go to dinner, they don't necessarily want the night to end, but they don't know where to go either. So this is a great thing to do after dinner or after some drinks. It kind of extends the fun night or fun day.

Marcelo: And it's pretty common. You just go to parties. Let's say you I go I'm going to a party that's I don't know, 10, 15 miles from my place. So instead of I go to the party, I have fun, instead of coming back to my place, I stop on the hotel, spend six hours doing God knows what there, and then later I come back home, relax. So that happens a lot. People after doing going to concerts or bars, go to the motels and have fun there.

Dr. Bawa: This is fun. So basically, you know how in America we have the concept of an after party. That's the after party in Brazil. That's pretty awesome.

Marcelo: Yeah, and you know, six hours doing that kind of stuff, you're going to sleep really.

Dr. Bawa: But six hours sounds exhausting.

Marcelo: It is.

Dr. Bawa: It is normally does it always have to be six hours, or can people get these hotels for less time?

[17:02] Two Hours, Six Hours or Twelve

Marcelo: Not really. You normally pay you they start normally in like two hours, and that's the minimum.

Dr. Bawa: That's the quickie package.

Marcelo: Yeah, exactly, because people go to the motels and their lunch breaks.

Dr. Bawa: Oh boy.

Marcelo: It's like of course you can pick up your wife, your girlfriend, and go to the motel, but some people just get a co-worker and go to the motel. You can be boss, secretary, it can be just like same-level coworkers. It doesn't matter. So people do that on their lunch breaks.

Dr. Bawa: Wow, I thought the Italians were wild for having a couple of glasses of wine at lunch. The Brazilians take the cake.

Marcelo: Yeah, and we don't even need the wine.

Dr. Bawa: You don't even need the wine. You come ready to party.

Marcelo: Yeah, so let's say you have two hours, you go have fun, and then you go back to your routine, you have four hours, and you have six hours. And I guess some places they even allow you to stay for 12 hours, but that's maximum. You cannot stay for 24 hours.

Dr. Bawa: You can't turn it into a proper vacation.

Marcelo: Yeah, no, no. I mean, you can if you want to pay like for 24 hours, they might actually do that for you, but that's not the problem.

Dr. Bawa: But that's not the spirit of a sex hotel.

[18:10] Making the Most of the Escape

Marcelo: It's not, but anyways, in six hours, you're going to be actually using the because you have a sauna, you have swimming pool, you have jacuzzi, you have porn movies, you have let's say you get up an Egyptian suite there, you have a lot of stuff that's going to keep you entertaining for those six hours. 12 hours is going to be too much.

Dr. Bawa: Unless you are my patient and are on my libido supplement Passion and my testosterone supplement renew, and my goodness, you have to be on enhance for that nitric oxide and that blood flow. Well, then you know, 12 hours may not seem like too much.

Marcelo: Yeah, you've probably been in. That's right. Yeah, and if they're not your patient, and let's say you stop working and you get exhausted after four hours and your girlfriend still want to keep going.

Dr. Bawa: And that penis has basically died out.

Marcelo: Yeah, at that point it would probably be raw already. So you can call them on the phone and ask them to bring a vibrator, of course. It's a clean, new one. Nobody has ever used it. It's a brand-new toy, and you can extend your night to the six hours.

Dr. Bawa: Wow, that gives room service new meaning.

Marcelo: Exactly. They're selling stuff and it's not cheap.

[19:23] The Ronaldo Story

Dr. Bawa: You were mentioning earlier that sex hotels are used by people cheating on their spouses. And I was looking up sex hotels in general, and I came across this story about Ronaldo, the soccer player, who dropped his girlfriend off and then picked up three women he thought were prostitutes, and they turned out to be men. He wasn't into that concept. He tried to get them to leave, offered to pay them to leave, and then one of them blackmailed him.

Marcelo: Yeah, at least that's what the media says. in Brazil, we understand that's not exactly the but I'm not going to get into that. So it we all think it was different, a little different from that.

Dr. Bawa: Well, what do you mean?

Marcelo: Yeah, it sound just sounds like he already knew that they weren't girls. That's what people say in Brazil.

Dr. Bawa: So you mean the rumor is that he knew they were men, yeah, but he didn't want to publicly acknowledge that he's bisexual.

Marcelo: I there's no way I can prove that. I mean, we don't know. We're just talking.

Dr. Bawa: This is just alleged. We don't know. Don't come sue me. Or maybe sue me. My podcast will become more famous, so please do me the favor.

Marcelo: Yeah, and that's just a funny story. Ronaldo is a great guy. He's a really he was a great soccer player, so everybody loves that guy in Brazil.

Dr. Bawa: Listen, he knows that people who cares if he's bisexual, more power to him. If he's not, more power to him. It's a free world. Be who you want to be, don't be who you don't want to be. Just be yourself, be authentic. And do you know bisexuals are actually the largest percentage within the LGBTQ population?

Marcelo: No, I didn't know that.

Dr. Bawa: And they are less likely to come out to their family and friends because of shame.

Marcelo: Oh.

Dr. Bawa: Which I think is interesting. Because I would have thought that being a lesbian or being gay would be more embarrassing to people, but being bisexual is actually more embarrassing to people. They feel more judged based on the numbers I've seen.

Marcelo: Well, either way, it's sad that you cannot be yourself. if you either if you're gay or bisexual, it's just sad.

[21:27] Can the Concept Be Recreated at Home?

Dr. Bawa: Do you think that sex hotels can be replicated at home?

Marcelo: I think that defeats the purpose because assuming you have a place and you want to bring that to your place, you're probably married or in a relationship with someone for a number of years. And the sex hotel, the motel is exactly to take you out of your routine of your place to make you go deeper in that sexual connection with your partner. So if you do that at home, you're going to be doing that for half an hour, one hour, and then you go back to your routine on a second. Then you go back to doing

Dr. Bawa: The dishes.

Marcelo: Exactly. On the sex hotel, you're going to it's like it's not a whole role-playing thing, but it's kind of because you go be that person that you're not interested in.

Dr. Bawa: It's unfiltered.

Marcelo: Exactly. And the purpose is that you can be yourself for a larger number of hours. You need to disconnect from your life to really enjoy.

Dr. Bawa: I get what you're saying because you're focusing on sex and your partner. There are no distractions, you're not doing work, your laptop isn't there, at least hopefully your laptop isn't there. But if you brought your secretary from work, maybe it is. You never know. But at least in theory, you are disconnecting from work. You are disconnecting from chores around the house, you're disconnecting from children. So I do understand the concept of it. And I wish Americans did it more.

Marcelo: Yeah, and that does the trick. Disconnecting does the trick not only physically, but mentally.

Dr. Bawa: Yes, and I think that while Americans don't have sex hotels, well, at least none that I know of, if you know of a sex hotel, hey, email me. askme@drsexfairy. com. Who knows? We may actually go do an episode there. But I think Americans can still bring the concept of that novelty back home. At least Americans can try in their own ways to maybe have a hot staycation, or maybe they can try to at least role-play a sex hotel at home. I mean, it may seem far-fetched, but some people really might enjoy that.

Marcelo: Yeah, or they might go visit Brazil.

[23:27] Why the Escape Matters

Dr. Bawa: Or maybe they should go to Brazil. Brazil pay me. We'll send you more tourists. Well, Marcelo, it's a great conversation as always, and thank you for coming back. Thank you for discussing this crazy concept of sex hotels. But hey, people around the world are doing it. Maybe we're the crazy ones for not having them.

Marcelo: Yeah, I never got that. I mean, I'm not an expert, but I'm 46-year-old now, so I've been through, you know, my 20s, my 30s, and I know how we Brazilians use that kind of facility. And it changed your life. It's really fun and it's a great experience.

Dr. Bawa: And you've clearly been to a few. You're quite the expert.

Marcelo: Whoa. Just like you said, like 60% of Brazilians have been to a motel in the last year.

Dr. Bawa: No, no, I understand. I'm just teasing. But it's a great conversation, and thank you so much for coming back on the podcast.

Marcelo: You're welcome. We're really nice to be back here.

[24:19] Closing Thoughts

Dr. Bawa: That was an interesting conversation about Brazilian sex hotels, not as physical spaces, but as a concept and a reminder of how important it is to prioritize connection, intimacy, and novelty in our relationships. Brazil has embraced the idea that sexuality thrives when we allow ourselves the freedom to step away from routine and rediscover each other. Thank you for joining me today. If you love this episode, be sure to subscribe to the Dr. Sex Fairy podcast, share it with someone who needs a little inspiration and a little fun, and leave me a five-star review. I read every single one of them. You can also connect with me on YouTube at Dr. Sex Fairy, TikTok at @drsexfairy, and Instagram at @therealdrsexfairy. If you are ready to transform your intimacy and your life, visit me at drsexfairy.

Dr. Bawa: com to schedule your virtual or in-office consultation. Before I end this episode, I want you to focus on this thought as a takeaway. Intimacy is not accidental, it is intentional. Whether you create your own escape at home or book that spontaneous getaway, remember that passion grows when you make space for it. Keeping the spark alive takes effort, so spice things up, step out of your comfort zone, and let passion lead the way. Until next time.