Ep. 12 - More Money, More Problems

[00:12] Introduction: Money and Relationships

Host: Dr. Kanwal Bawa | Guest: Michael Wild | Runtime: 32:58 | Published: February 28, 2022

Dr. Bawa: Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Dr. Sex Fairy. I am Dr. Kanwal Bawa, and I am here to transform your life.

Dr. Bawa: Today, we are going to get into the very interesting and very uncomfortable topic of money. What does money do to relationships?

Dr. Bawa: I was reading a statistic that said that nearly half of Americans—48%—who are married or living with a partner say that they argue with that person over money.

Dr. Bawa: Spending habits are a very big source of trouble, with 60% saying that one person spends too much or the other is too cheap. Other areas of discord include someone being dishonest about money, how to divide the bills, general money fights, disagreements over forgetting to pay bills, financial priorities—you name it.

Dr. Bawa: A study by TD Ameritrade found that 41% of divorced Gen Xers and 29% of Boomers said that they ended their marriages because of disagreements about money.

Dr. Bawa: A study of more than 4,500 couples published in Family Relations—a journal—said that arguing about money early in your relationship may be the number one predictor of whether or not you end up divorced.

[01:11] Meet Mike Wild

Dr. Bawa: Today, I have with me in the studio my friend Mike Wild. Mike is a friend of mine. We do a lot of charity work for the American Cancer Society and raise a lot of funds for them.

Dr. Bawa: At one of our recent Cancer Society events, we got talking about what else but sex and money.

Dr. Bawa: Mike is also an attorney, and his law firm handles asset protection and estate planning. He has a lot of experience with this topic and with people fighting over money. Welcome, Mike.

Mike: Thank you. Thank you for having me.

[01:39] Why Couples Fight About Money

Dr. Bawa: What are your thoughts about couples fighting over money?

Mike: I think money is an underlying part of every relationship, whether it is a mail-order bride or a first sexual encounter. Teenagers will spend whatever it takes to get one of those.

Mike: When it comes to marriages, the idea of money is always underlying the relationship. There may be too much of it or not enough of it. He makes more. She makes more.

Mike: Sometimes people equate money and assets with the value of the person in the relationship. If a husband makes more money, the wife may automatically feel like she is not worth as much unless he goes above and beyond to make her feel like they are equals.

Mike: It can be even worse when it is the other way around. If a man has the untraditional role of staying at home or is the second income in the family—like Tom Brady—sometimes there is a little bit of an ego kick.

Mike: The actual affluence does not necessarily increase the quality of the marriage. Sometimes it decreases it.

[02:38] More Money, More Options

Dr. Bawa: I agree, because there are statistics showing that couples making $20,000 a year fight less than couples who earn between $250,000 and $500,000.

Mike: Absolutely. More money equals more options.

Mike: If you are only making $20,000 a year and you are worried about putting bread on the table, you are not thinking about where else you can go to get some jam for your bread.

Dr. Bawa: Oh my God. That's funny.

Mike: But if you have wealth that allows you to go out and have a life outside your marriage, then you start thinking about whether the grass might be greener on the other side.

I've always wondered: do ugly people get together because they want to or because they have to?

I've always wondered: It is the same thing with rich people. If you have a lot of money, you have a lot of options.

I've always wondered: Whether you are in a monogamous relationship—marriage or any other kind of relationship—or you are single, having more money gives you more options when it comes to dating and extracurricular activities.

Dr. Bawa: Extracurricular activities, of course.

[03:36] Successful Women and Dating

Dr. Bawa: In my case, I have found that being a successful woman makes dating harder, not easier.

Dr. Bawa: It is okay for a man to be successful, but when a woman is successful, it makes people uncomfortable.

Mike: It's funny. I have female friends who are successful, and they have always said that to me.

Mike: All of them have found relationships since we had those conversations, but at the time they would say, “Men are scared of successful women.”

Mike: There is a certain type of man who is. Don't get me wrong.

Mike: We live in South Florida, which is an eclectic environment with many different nationalities. There are some countries—Russia, Cuba and others—that have this machismo feeling. A man may not want a woman who is going to have more power than he does, whether that power is in the workplace or in the bank account.

Mike: But I think there are also a lot of men looking for an equal, especially when it comes to a second marriage.

Mike: When people enter a first marriage, they often have antiquated preconceptions about what the man is supposed to be and what the woman is supposed to be.

Mike: After that marriage is over, the kids have been had, the divorce has happened and everyone has licked their wounds, I think it becomes less of an issue.

Mike: There are many men out there who have already given half their money away and are happy to find a sugar mama.

[04:56] Income, Protection and Equality

Dr. Bawa: Oh my goodness. The problem is that people want me to be their sugar mama too.

Mike: There you go. You have to pick your poison.

Mike: You can be the sugar mama taking care of the man who is happy that you are more successful, or you can find a man who is going to take care of you.

Mike: When we start talking about Tony Robbins and the mentality of successful people, I think that even a successful woman wants a man to care for her and protect her. I think that is biological.

Mike: A lot of times, people look at paychecks and assume that if the woman makes more money, then she is taking care of the household and must be the provider.

Mike: But as I said before, if two people are going to grow together, it is important for the person providing the wealth to make the other person feel like the protector, at least. From what I have seen, that is important.

Mike: Of course, I'm divorced, so what the heck do I know?

Dr. Bawa: So am I. What do I know?

[05:59] What Strong Relationships Do Differently

Mike: What I have seen in successful relationships is that the people do a very good job of making each other realize how important the other person is.

Mike: It does not really matter how much money each person makes. The person making more money is probably leaning on the other person for things that are just as important, and they make that person understand that their contribution is equally important.

Mike: It is rare to find that.

Mike: I was talking to a friend the other day. He asked, “Mike, how do you find these good relationships?”

Mike: I started thinking about two things. First, in my own life, every great relationship I've ever had started because the woman asked me out.

Dr. Bawa: That's interesting.

Mike: The idea that an aggressive woman would be unattractive did not ring true for me. It wasn't necessarily about her being financially successful. It was about her being aggressive.

Mike: Then I started thinking about all the great relationships I knew. My friend said, “Think about the great relationships.”

Mike: I said, “I can think of a lot of great marriages that my friends have.”

Mike: He said, “One thing they all have in common is that they are all second marriages.”

[07:10] Second Marriages and Lessons From Divorce

Mike: I think about my own parents. My parents are divorced.

Mike: When they were together, they were a horrible match, even though they were married for quite some time. They had three kids. They went to high school together, went to college together and did all these things together.

Mike: After they divorced, my mother and father each married different people—my stepfather and my stepmother. Both of those marriages have lasted for more than 20 years.

Mike: My stepfather adores my mother and will do anything for her. My stepmother adores my father and will do anything for him.

Mike: They found people who were perfect for them in their second relationships. In their first relationship, they ended up exactly how I did.

Mike: There is something to be said for being honest with yourself. Money and protecting your money are important, but money is not everything.

[07:57] Prenups, Postnups and Asset Protection

Mike: Asset protection is part of the work we do. We prepare prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, so we have a lot of marital conversations.

Mike: We don't handle divorces, but our work is related to that area.

Mike: Everyone thinks, “I need to protect my assets,” especially if they have children from a previous relationship.

Mike: We create diagrams showing what would happen if something bad occurred.

Mike: What is great about working with someone entering a second or third marriage is that they are realistic. They aren't saying, “We're never going to get divorced. This will last forever.”

Mike: They say, “I hope it does, but realistically, we've already failed once. What are the chances?”

Mike: The divorce rate for a first marriage is around 50%. Everyone talks about that. The divorce rate for a second marriage is around 70%.

Mike: You've already proven that you're not great at this, and now you're increasing the odds that it will fail.

Mike: The good thing about entering into a contract is that you can make sure you are protected, your children are protected and even your spouse is protected.

Mike: It is not just about assets. It is also about liabilities.

Mike: When people enter a second marriage, they often bring liabilities from the previous marriage. You may want to protect the other person too.

Mike: It becomes more of a business document, but I don't think that is unromantic.

Mike: I think it is actually more romantic if you can put the lovey-dovey butterflies aside and say, “I care about you enough that if this doesn't work, here is how we're not going to kill each other.”

[09:26] Divorce, Sugar Daddies and Boca

Dr. Bawa: You know why divorce is so expensive, right?

Mike: Because it's worth it.

Dr. Bawa: Because it's worth it. Mine was so worth it.

Mike: Exactly. You're fine.

Dr. Bawa: I'm fine. It's onward and upward.

Mike: Your earning potential is in front of you.

Dr. Bawa: Oh yes. Oh yes.

Mike: Or you can find that sugar daddy.

Dr. Bawa: I am in the land of sugar daddies, right?

Mike: You are.

Dr. Bawa: I'm looking for a sugar daddy. You're looking for a sugar mama.

Mike: We're in the right place.

Dr. Bawa: We're in the right place: South Florida.

Mike: Especially where we are right now. For those who don't know, we're in Boca Raton, which is a very good place to find—

Dr. Bawa: It's very ritzy, people.

Mike: There are older people with money who are looking for young, successful boy toys.

Dr. Bawa: At some of the events you and I have attended together, we have had billionaires eating at our tables.

Mike: That's true. That's very true.

Mike: What makes me sad is that I'm 42 years old, so I'm too old to be a boy toy and too young to be a sugar daddy.

Dr. Bawa: It depends on how old the gal is, my friend.

Mike: I guess that's true. I could go visit the assisted-living facilities.

Dr. Bawa: There is some serious money there. I'm promising you.

[10:12] A Date Intimidated by Dr. Bawa's Success

Dr. Bawa: The other thing I've noticed is that even successful men—men who make more than I do—can become nervous or uncomfortable about the fact that I am independently successful.

Dr. Bawa: I had one person I've mentioned before. I actually made it to a third date, which is epic for me. I usually know pretty quickly if something is going nowhere, but I think my radar was a little off with this one.

Dr. Bawa: He picked me up from home and brought me flowers. I said, “Let me put them away.”

Dr. Bawa: He walked in, looked up at my cathedral ceiling and said, “I can't afford this.”

Dr. Bawa: I said, “Clearly, I don't need you to. I'm doing just fine.”

Mike: Yeah, exactly.

Dr. Bawa: But that was the end. I couldn't do it after that.

Mike: I wasn't in that situation, so I don't know. Maybe he was taken aback. Did he say anything, or did you assume he was saying it?

Dr. Bawa: He said it.

Mike: Did you assume he couldn't handle it?

Dr. Bawa: He looked very uncomfortable. I'm not sure what he thought he was driving into, but it wasn't what he expected.

Dr. Bawa: I figured that if a man was that uncomfortable with my success—as successful as he was—I wasn't sure what he meant by, “I can't afford this.”

Dr. Bawa: I decided to take a step back. It left a very sour taste in my mouth.

Mike: First of all, if I walked into a woman's place and thought, “I'll never afford this,” I would say, “I'm not leaving.”

Mike: That may have been shortsighted on his part.

Mike: But everyone—especially in a second relationship after leaving a first one—has pluses and minuses. Everyone has baggage.

Mike: I don't even want to call mine baggage because it is wonderful, but I have two young children. I have a 12-year-old and an eight-year-old. Half of my time is always with them.

[12:25] Dating With Children and Custody Schedules

Mike: Women who have never had children don't typically understand that. They want more time.

Mike: A woman who has already been divorced and has children understands. She knows she may only see you every two weeks.

Mike: The conversations on first dates with single mothers are always the same: “Okay, show me your children's schedule. I need to know whether we're on the same schedule or opposite schedules.”

Dr. Bawa: It matters, absolutely.

Dr. Bawa: If you have your children one weekend and your girlfriend has hers on the opposite weekend, you'll never see each other on weekends.

Mike: You're talking about a girlfriend. I'm talking about the first date.

Mike: I have to decide that if I'm attracted to this woman but seeing her is going to require me to go to my ex-wife and ask for a favor—

Dr. Bawa: Oh my God, yes. That's painful.

Mike: I can't do it. You have to look for things that fit better.

Mike: The good thing is that you have these red flags—or you have this baggage—because the biggest red flag is reaching a certain age, having never been married, never having children and claiming that you don't have any problems.

Mike: Then you're thinking, “Okay, you're a serial killer, aren't you? Something is going on with you.”

Mike: I think it is good to have a reason.

Mike: The other day, a woman on one of these apps asked me, “Why are you single?”

Mike: First, I answered with a smart-ass response. I said, “Because if I were double, I'd be two.”

Mike: Then I told her, “I was divorced and I have two children. Between running a law firm, having kids and doing all the philanthropic work we do, it takes a lot of time.”

Dr. Bawa: It takes a lot of time.

[14:13] Making Time and Setting Priorities

Dr. Bawa: But if you found the right person, you would find the time.

Mike: Everyone says that, and I'm waiting for that. It might be true.

Mike: To this point, the longest relationship I have had since my divorce—I wouldn't even call it a relationship. Nobody can see that I'm making quotation marks because I'm on the radio, so that's on me.

Mike: The longest relationship I had after my divorce was casual, but it lasted for a few months.

Mike: I remember the woman being upset because I wasn't making enough time for her. I said, “I have my kids and this and that.”

Mike: She said, “You would make time for me if you wanted to.”

Mike: I said, “Look, I don't want to be rude, but you're about seventh on the priority list.”

Mike: It sounds awful, but when you start listing everything, my children are obviously number one. Then there is the rest of my family, my law firm, my networking, my philanthropy and my friends.

Mike: I said, “You're right in line with playing golf and going to the gym. Those are things I do when I have free time.”

Dr. Bawa: No, no, no, no, no. You are going to stay single if you talk like that.

Mike: I was just honest. I'm ultra-pragmatic about it.

Mike: I don't know if you felt this way, but when I got divorced, I thought, “Okay, that was it. That was the relationship I had. I had the children, and I guess I've had all the sex I'm ever going to have in my life.”

Mike: That was what I thought when I first got divorced, and I was okay with it. I was okay with never having another relationship.

Mike: Even today, I think everything else is gravy. If I ever have another relationship that turns into a marriage, I don't plan on that, but if it happens, it is gravy. It is all a bonus.

Dr. Bawa: But if you never spend time with her, how will it ever turn into marriage?

Mike: That's why I went back to my first comment about mail-order brides.

Dr. Bawa: Oh my God. You're awful.

[16:14] Two Busy Single Parents

Dr. Bawa: We get very busy and stuck in a rut.

Dr. Bawa: You and I are essentially the same person packaged a little differently. We're both single parents of two young children. We're both coming out of first marriages. We both network, do philanthropy and run businesses. We're wheelers and dealers. We're out there doing our thing.

Dr. Bawa: But at some point, I think we have to make time for that person.

Dr. Bawa: When that person comes, I think you know. When the right person comes, you'll make time.

Mike: That's what my friends keep saying.

Dr. Bawa: I'm telling you. I have yet to find that person, but I'm convinced that when I find the right person, things will change in that sense.

Mike: I also think things change with time. Kids don't stay young forever.

Mike: My daughter is already almost a teenager. She's one month away from being a teenager. In two years, she won't even remember my name.

Mike: When my son is 12 years old, he'll be running around with his friends.

Mike: I feel that in just a few years, things will change as far as the calendar is concerned.

Mike: Plus, you and I were just talking about finding more help for our respective businesses.

Mike: Finding Good Employees

Dr. Bawa: Oh my goodness. In today's society, it is so hard to find anybody who wants a decent job.

Mike: It's true.

Dr. Bawa: Terrible. I think I'd rather find more good help than another relationship.

Mike: I agree with you. I'll give you that.

Mike: I would take a good full-time employee over a partner at this time because I think the employee would make my life better.

Dr. Bawa: Exactly.

Mike: One caters to you. You cater to the other.

Dr. Bawa: In a good relationship, you cater to each other.

Mike: That's true.

Mike: But I have found that the amount of effort required at the beginning—it's a good relationship when you fast-forward to the middle.

Dr. Bawa: You're exactly right.

Mike: At the beginning, it is like an airplane taking off. All the fuel is expended at the very beginning of the flight.

Dr. Bawa: That's well said.

Mike: Then you coast from there.

Mike: At the beginning, do you have the ability—or even the desire—to put in that time and effort to find the right person?

[18:14] Online Dating Versus Meeting Organically

Dr. Bawa: I don't do online dating. I tried it, but it wasn't for me.

Dr. Bawa: It has too much of that swipe mentality.

Dr. Bawa: Call me crazy or old-fashioned, but I would love to meet someone while walking around in daily life.

Mike: Sure.

Dr. Bawa: At an event. God forbid, at a bar. I don't go to them very often, but I want to meet someone organically and feel that chemistry.

Dr. Bawa: I don't want to have that interview-slash-banter by text. It's annoying.

Mike: I agree completely.

Mike: I'm on almost every app, and I treat it almost like a game.

Dr. Bawa: Are you on Tinder?

Mike: Yes.

Dr. Bawa: It's a booty-call app, isn't it?

Mike: They say that, but all of them kind of are.

Dr. Bawa: They all are. You're right.

Mike: I very rarely go out and meet any of the women I match with. We chat a little bit, and then that's it.

Dr. Bawa: So it's entertainment.

Mike: It really is. It is almost like a video game.

Dr. Bawa: I like it better than TikTok.

Mike: It's a lot of swiping. Once in a while I go out, but honestly, over the six years that I've been divorced, I've probably gone on six total dates from the apps.

Mike: Most of the women I've actually met, I've met while out. You go out with friends and run into someone.

Dr. Bawa: I hear the success stories every now and then: “We met online, and now we're married with children.”

Dr. Bawa: But I don't see that very often.

Mike: I see more relationships that started organically.

Mike: Although my ex-wife picked me up on MySpace.

Dr. Bawa: Oh yes. Back then.

Mike: Back in the dark ages, when there was MySpace and no smartphones.

Dr. Bawa: Flip phones.

Mike: Exactly. We had the Razr.

Dr. Bawa: Oh my goodness, yes.

Mike: She picked me up because we had a mutual friend on MySpace. It was a guy who lived in my building and went to high school with her.

Mike: She said, “It says on your profile that you're single. How does a thing like that happen?”

Dr. Bawa: See? That's an aggressive woman.

Mike: And we were married for 10 years.

Dr. Bawa: Imagine that. I was married for almost 20.

Mike: There you go. Did he pick you up on MySpace?

Dr. Bawa: No, he didn't.

Mike: That's your problem.

Dr. Bawa: That's his problem.

Mike: That's my problem.

[20:30] Money and Dating Apps

Dr. Bawa: Money becomes such an issue nowadays, even with dating.

Dr. Bawa: Do you feel that people on these dating apps ask questions because they're trying to figure out how much money you really have?

Mike: I put a picture of my bank account on there because I feel that it helps, so it is never an issue.

Mike: No, I think there is an assumption that because I own a law firm, people think, “Okay, he's doing well.”

Mike: I wouldn't say I'm a public figure, but I'm a quasi-public figure in Fort Lauderdale because of all the work I do. I assume they know.

[21:12] Who Should Pay on the First Date?

Mike: I'll tell you the interesting thing: I will never let a woman pay. Never.

Mike: When a woman offers to pay, that is actually a good thing. I think, “Okay, no. I'm going to fight you for that. I'm never going to let you pay.”

Mike: My advice to women is to offer to pay. If he lets you pay, don't go out with him again.

Dr. Bawa: Should she offer to pay on the first date?

Mike: Yes, but never offer to split the bill.

Mike: Splitting means, “I'm not interested.”

Mike: If we go Dutch—and this is for people who are not familiar with what men are thinking—if I go out with a woman and she says, “Let's split the bill,” I think, “She's not interested. We're just friends.”

Dr. Bawa: I would feel very odd if I were expected to pay on a first date. Maybe I'm a little traditional.

Dr. Bawa: I don't know whether I would offer to pay on a first date because I wouldn't want to offend the person.

Mike: It is never offensive if you offer to pay the whole bill.

But here's the rub: if you offer to pay the whole bill and he lets you, he's a dud.

Dr. Bawa: He's a dud, yes.

Mike: If you offer to pay the whole bill and he says, “Get that out of here. I'm paying,” then it was a good date.

Mike: If you say, “I'll pay my half,” he thinks, “I don't even know what we're doing here. Are we on a date?”

Dr. Bawa: Half is not a date.

Mike: Half is not a date.

Dr. Bawa: I agree.

Mike: Half means we're friends.

Dr. Bawa: Exactly.

Mike: I've been on dates where women were a little sneaky because they had their own money.

Mike: I paid for dinner, and then we went somewhere else. Before I could do anything, she had slipped the bartender her credit card to pay for the drinks. She said, “No, no, no. That's different.”

Dr. Bawa: That's cute.

Mike: In general, that should be the rule.

[22:56] Online Research, Stalking and Texting

Dr. Bawa: On dating apps, I see my friends asking leading questions.

Dr. Bawa: I'll be sitting beside someone who is on Bumble, trying to converse with a man. She'll ask, “What kind of car do you drive?” and “Where in town do you live?”

Dr. Bawa: She is trying to figure out the area, the car and whether he is worth pursuing.

Mike: She's doing it all wrong.

Mike: What she should do is ask for his full name and start stalking him like a reasonable person.

Dr. Bawa: Go on Google.

Mike: Exactly. BCPA has everyone's addresses.

Dr. Bawa: It's scary when you see how much you can find out about people.

Mike: Absolutely.

Dr. Bawa: You can find out how many speeding tickets they've had, this, that and the other. You can find anything.

Mike: With just a phone number, you can find anything. It's wild.

Mike: In my business, we have to do that. When someone dies and we have to find heirs, we have to locate those heirs or find assets.

Mike: With a Social Security number, we can find anybody's assets anywhere.

Mike: The point is that your friend is being really lazy about the stalking. She should ask for some basic information and do the research.

Mike: I also think the only kind of conversation that should happen by text is comedic. It should be comedic banter.

Mike: Going back and forth that way is better. If you want to talk about something serious, you can do it in person or even on the phone.

Mike: On the apps, if you look at my conversations with women, it quickly becomes, “Here's my cell phone number. Let's get off the app,” if we're hitting it off.

Mike: But before that, it is all comedic. It is me telling jokes. If they get it, then we'll move on to step two.

[24:38] Second Dates and Parenting Calendars

Dr. Bawa: What percentage of your dates do you think proceed to a second date?

Mike: It's hard to say.

Mike: Recently—and maybe this is COVID-related—I don't go on traditional dates as often.

Mike: The last two successful traditional dates I had—dinner, an activity and drinks—both went to a second date. Neither became anything beyond that, mainly because of the children's schedules.

Mike: Both women had children. I have children.

Dr. Bawa: That's complicated.

Mike: It is complicated. Suddenly one weekend turns into two, two turn into four, and now I haven't seen you in two months.

Mike: Then it becomes, “Hey, do you want to get a drink?”

Dr. Bawa: Oh my goodness. It is tough. You almost start over.

Dr. Bawa: I think children's schedules are a major issue. You said it jokingly earlier, but it is a fact. You have to make sure your calendars align or you will never get there.

[25:40] Nannies, Guilt and Parenting Time

Mike: Going back to your comment about money, if you can afford a good nanny—

Dr. Bawa: But there is that thing about guilt. I think we all suffer from it.

Dr. Bawa: If you have children at home, you feel terribly guilty.

Dr. Bawa: When I was married and left the children at home so that I could go to dinner with their father, I didn't feel guilty.

Dr. Bawa: Now, as a single parent, if they're home with a nanny and I go out—even for an event—I feel guilty.

Mike: It is not just guilt. It is partially guilt, but it is also competition.

Mike: If their father were always at home with them while you were going out all the time, they might think, “Daddy is always home with us.”

Mike: If you are the mother and the winning parent—the person they count on more—not only do you alleviate the guilt you feel about being out, but you also get to win.

Dr. Bawa: In my case, it is unfortunate, but they don't always have a good relationship with their father, so they depend on me more.

Mike: You're in the lead.

Dr. Bawa: When I leave them, I feel even more guilty because I'm taking time away from our precious time together.

Mike: How old are they?

Dr. Bawa: They're 11. Twins.

Mike: They're 11 years old, so you only have a couple more years. Then they'll hate you anyway.

Dr. Bawa: Then they'll hate me anyway.

Mike: Enjoy getting there, slowly but surely.

Mike: You don't have an even split, right?

Dr. Bawa: I have them more.

Mike: I have an exactly even split.

Mike: For me, I would have that guilt feeling, which is why, when I have my children, I only have my children. I don't leave them unless it is for an occasional charity event.

Dr. Bawa: That's what I was saying. If I go out for a charity event, I don't go dating. God knows I don't have any time to date anymore.

Dr. Bawa: When I leave them, it is for an event like the American Cancer Society.

Mike: Exactly. That's my thing.

Mike: I don't feel guilty in that situation. I come home fairly quickly afterward. It isn't a big deal.

Mike: Usually, my parents are babysitting, so it is, “Okay, you're going to see Grandma or Grandpa.”

Dr. Bawa: Yes.

Mike: When I don't have them, I don't feel guilty at all about being out.

Mike: When it isn't my time with them and they're with their mother, there is no guilt. I'm out.

Mike: The other part is that I personally cannot be trusted to be without my children for more than five days, which is the maximum amount of time.

Mike: When I go out as a lawyer, the only bar I've ever passed is the exam. All the other ones I go inside.

Mike: When we first separated, we tried one week on and one week off. I went a week without them, and I would have died from all the partying.

Mike: Instead of leaving me to my own devices, I like knowing that I can only go out for a couple of nights in a row. Then I go back to the children.

Mike: It saves me from myself.

Dr. Bawa: It saves you from yourself, and it saves your liver as well.

Mike: It saves my liver.

[28:47] More Money, More Problems

Dr. Bawa: It's interesting. You think money makes life easier, but money tends to complicate it.

Dr. Bawa: Being single also seems to complicate life. Life is just complicated.

Dr. Bawa: When you're in a bad marriage, you think being single will be easier. When you're single, you think the marriage was easier.

Dr. Bawa: When you're younger and trying to make money, you think that once you have more money, you'll have fewer problems.

But as you said earlier: more money, more problems.

Mike: Absolutely. More money, more problems.

[29:13] Men, Women and Assumptions

Mike: I often think about this. There is always going to be an issue.

Mike: Divorce will be an issue, money will be an issue or children will be an issue.

Mike: The only time we're all going to come together and not worry about any issues is when the aliens finally attack.

Mike: Then we all have to band together, and it will all be about survival.

Mike: Until that time, we're going to worry about stupid things like, “Did I feed the kids frozen macaroni and cheese tonight, and is that a good-parent thing to do?”

Mike: Or, “Okay, I went on this date.”

Mike: I thought about a story when you were telling me about the man who came into your home and said he couldn't afford to live there.

Mike: Men and women think about things completely differently. That's why I wondered whether you spoke to him about it or assumed he was upset.

Mike: There is an article by Dave Barry. Do you remember Dave Barry, the comedic columnist?

Dr. Bawa: Yes.

Mike: He's very funny. They even had a CBS television show based on him.

Mike: There is an article about two people in a relationship. It is their six-month anniversary, and they go out to eat.

Mike: He does not realize it is their six-month anniversary, but she does. The article explains what they are both thinking during the entire evening.

Mike: She is thinking, “Oh my God, he hasn't said anything. Maybe he's upset. He's going to break up with me.”

Mike: He is thinking, “I just took the car in the other day, and it is making this weird noise.”

Mike: She thinks, “Oh my God. I wonder whether I should say something now. Should I ask him what he's thinking?”

Mike: He thinks, “That stupid mechanic ripped me off again. The transmission is idling.”

Mike: She looks at his face and thinks, “Oh my God, look at his face. He's so angry. He's angry with me. He's going to dump me.”

Mike: The whole thing continues until she runs out of the car and says, “I don't know why I'm waiting for a knight on a white horse, but I'm sorry.”

Mike: She spends the rest of the night crying and talking to her friend on the phone.

Mike: He doesn't think anything of it.

Mike: The following week, he's playing racquetball with his friend and says, “Did Diane ever say anything about a horse?”

Mike: Men and women assume that they know what the other person is thinking.

Mike: You don't know what men are thinking because we're never thinking anything. We're very simple creatures.

Mike: You might think that he was thinking, “I can't afford to live here. I'm beneath her. I don't want to be with her.”

Mike: But unless he actually said that—

Dr. Bawa: He said it. He said, “I can't be with you.”

Dr. Bawa: Well, he didn't say, “I can't be with you.” He said, “I can't afford this.”

Dr. Bawa: To me, the way he behaved was a major turnoff.

Mike: Okay. It could be a side issue too, but don't assume. We have another gentleman we were talking about.

Mike: Don't assume you know what a person is thinking.

Dr. Bawa: I agree with you.

Mike: Especially a man, because we're very rarely thinking anything.

Dr. Bawa: I understand. I so understand.

[32:08] How to Contact Mike Wild

Dr. Bawa: Since we've been talking about asset protection, money and how money complicates life, how can someone in this area contact you?

Mike: You can go to my website, wfplaw.com. You can also contact me by phone at 954-944-2855.

Mike: The website that may be easier for radio listeners is southfloridawills.com. That will also take you to the main website. So, southfloridawills.com.

[32:33] Closing Quote and Recorded Outro

Dr. Bawa: Thank you.

I will end with a quote from Marx: “While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.”

I will end with a quote from Marx: I hope you enjoyed the Dr. Sex Fairy Podcast today. I would love to continue this conversation with you.

I will end with a quote from Marx: If you would like my top three secrets for amazing sex, send me an email at askme@drsexfairy.com, and I will share them with you.

I will end with a quote from Marx: Don't forget to follow this podcast and leave me a five-star review. Until next time.