Ep. 21 - Surprising Facts About Orgasm - 1

[00:12] Introduction: Surprising Facts About Orgasm

Host: Dr. Kanwal Bawa | Runtime: 17:10 | Published: May 2, 2022

Dr. Bawa: Welcome to another episode of Dr. Sex Fairy. I'm Dr. Kanwal Bawa, and I am here to transform your life. Today, we are going to discuss the mysterious orgasm. I am going to target 10 important topics. Some of these are misconceptions, and some are issues you have long suspected. We all want a Meg Ryan moment, but it takes some understanding to get us there. Do you remember that iconic scene in When Harry Met Sally? Oh, oh, oh, God. Oh. I'll have what she's having. Without further ado, let's talk about orgasms.

[01:05] Fact 1: Orgasm Without Genital Stimulation

Dr. Bawa: Number one, it doesn't even require genital stimulation to have one. While genital stimulation leads to some amazing orgasms, you don't always need genital stimulation to have one. There are plenty of documented cases where women can orgasm with all sorts of non-sexual stimulation. Men can experience these too, but it's far less frequent than with women. I once heard about a woman who orgasmed with just brushing her teeth. While it makes me incredibly jealous on one level, on another, it's an awful thing to experience every single day. These unassisted orgasms are called extra-genital orgasms. We are not talking about orgasms from tight clothing, riding a bike, yoga, or any of that stuff.

Dr. Bawa: These are orgasms that come with absolutely no external stimulation. Some people can actually think themselves into strong orgasms. Who knew? Taken to an extreme, this may culminate in persistent genital arousal disorder. While this may amuse some people, the people experiencing this are suffering. This cripples their ability to live normal lives surrounded by people. It is embarrassing and it is depressing. There is no sexual pleasure and fulfillment coming out of these. A Tampa Bay article titled, Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder Brings Woman Agony, Not Ecstasy, talked about a 39-year-old woman who was experiencing these constantly.

Dr. Bawa: Her name was Gretchen Molinen, and she told a tale of her suffering that began abruptly 16 years prior when she was just 23. It had turned her into a hermit. She needed medical help. She couldn't make any money. Her life was basically at a standstill. Her parents went to their graves thinking she was lazy and a failure for not making something of her life. This ruined everything in her life, literally. Gretchen committed suicide the day after her story was published online. It is a truly sad situation when people go through these. Persistent genital arousal disorder was actually first identified only in 2001 by Sandra Leiblum.

Dr. Bawa: She is a noted sex therapist and professor of psychiatry, and she published the study in a journal called the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. She described women of all ages who were physically but not psychologically aroused. Doctors have not been able to agree on the cause of this disorder, but there have been many theories. There is actually an implantable pacemaker that has been used successfully in some cases, but it is frightfully expensive and not readily available.

[03:11] Fact 2: Orgasm After Spinal Cord Injury

Dr. Bawa: Number two, people with spinal cord injury can have orgasms too. According to The Science of Orgasm co-author Beverly Whipple, orgasm isn't just a muscular reflex; it's a perception of the brain. Barry Komisaruk, a Rutgers neuroscientist, partnered with her to write this book. They mapped the specific areas that are activated during orgasm with imaging. Imagine that situation: somebody lying on a table, sheet over them, MRI machine. Not very sexy. Anywho, I digress. And these people found how women with complete spinal cord injury can reach orgasm through the vagus nerve. This is a nerve that bypasses the spine and directly connects the genitalia with the brain.

Dr. Bawa: They also showed how non-genital stimulation, such as stimulation of the knee and big toe, could lead to orgasm. Now that's a thought.

[05:05] Fact 3: Orgasm Can Reduce Pain

Dr. Bawa: Number three. It can relieve people of pain. Also noted in this book, the pain-blocking effects of vaginal stimulation are incredible. Pain and pleasure are registered by the same areas of the brain. If you think about it, people look like they're in a lot of pain when they have orgasms. MRI imaging has shown that women can withstand up to 100% more pain during an orgasm. Isn't that something? The body releases endorphins and oxytocin in response to orgasm. These feel-good hormones lead to relaxation and pain relief from all kinds of sources, even arthritis and surgery. Headaches in particular seem to be related to orgasm.

Dr. Bawa: There are people who develop headaches due to orgasm, and then there are people who find relief for their headaches from orgasm. Go figure. Takes all kinds to make this world. According to a 2013 study on this topic, 60% said that sexual activity during a migraine helped their symptoms. While there is yet to be a consensus about exactly what happens, the fact is that orgasm helps many with their headaches, and this is especially true of men. I wonder why that is.

[07:10] Fact 4: Women Take Longer to Reach Orgasm

Dr. Bawa: Number four. It takes women longer to achieve orgasm. Well, we knew that, right? Two studies focusing on the intravaginal ejaculation latency time, or the time from when a penis enters the vagina to when the person ejaculates, found that men take an average of 5.4 to 6 minutes to get there. Now, here's the problem. In April 2020, there was a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. This is a study that was led by an Indian team, which I find interesting, my peoples. This team chose 645 women from 20 countries, with most participants from India, the United Kingdom, Netherlands, and the U.S.

Dr. Bawa: And they found those with comorbidities such as diabetes, hypertension, asthma, psychiatric illness, sexual dysfunction, and those with partners with sexual dysfunctions were excluded. The participants reported stopwatch-measured adequate sexual arousal over an eight-week period. Now, that just doesn't sound right, I guess, but they had to measure it somehow. It took these women 13.41 minutes to achieve orgasm. This means that men have to last longer on average to satisfy their partner. Erectile dysfunction increases by a whopping 10% for every decade of life, which makes this a lot harder. But I have found great success treating men for this at my Boca Raton practice, Bawa Medical.

Dr. Bawa: I am happy to discuss this further with you if you email me at askme@drsexfairy.com.

[09:31] Fact 5: Clitoral Stimulation Matters

Dr. Bawa: Now let's talk about number five. Women orgasm from clitoral stimulation far more than from vaginal penetration. I need an angel sound effect or something here because I have been saying this from the get-go. A study published in April 2020 that I just talked about, the time to orgasm in women, also found that two out of three women, 69% actually, simply did not orgasm with intercourse alone. This had nothing to do with the woman's age, education, income, marital status, relationship duration, or even the frequency of intercourse. During the eight-week study, two out of three simply did not orgasm, period.

Dr. Bawa: However, most were able to climax with their partners if, in addition to penetrative vaginal sex, they included, in descending order, number one, extended non-genital caressing of the woman from head to toe, especially the feet. There we go again with the feet. Extended caressing and licking of the clitoris. Extended breast play with nipple sucking, anal fingering, and light spanking. I guess different strokes for different folks. In addition, women were significantly more likely to climax in two intercourse positions, woman on top and doggy style, both of which easily allow for all of the above. The researchers concluded, the women in our study reached orgasm more frequently with non-penetrative activities.

Dr. Bawa: I have been screaming this from rooftops from the start. I have always said that only 18% of women can orgasm from regular sex, penetrative sex that is. My practice, Bawa Medical, helps many women who are experiencing difficulty orgasming. While this is a complex issue that involves both the physical and the psychological, I have found that the O-shot, or orgasm shot to the clitoris and vaginal canal, can be a game changer. I have also had immense success with acoustic wave therapy, vaginal lasers, and more. Feel free to contact me about this as well at askme@drsexfairy.com.

[11:32] Fact 6: Condoms Do Not Reduce Female Orgasm Quality

Dr. Bawa: Let's talk about number six. A condom does not affect your orgasm. While sex with a condom does not always feel good to both a man or a woman, the quality of a woman's orgasm is not compromised in any way by using one. I am hoping that you're relieved to hear this, because while your partner may not last forever, genital herpes will. STDs can have far-reaching effects from the brain to infertility to long-term tremors and more. It's simply not worth the risk, guys. And here's another interesting fact.

Dr. Bawa: According to a 2007 study titled Sexual Pleasure and Condom Use, published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, pleasure ratings for condom-protected vaginal intercourse were higher among men who had used condoms in the past three months than among men who had not. I think this tells me that condoms reduce stress, stress about pregnancy, stress about STDs. The man does not have to pull out while climaxing or worry about premature ejaculation causing pregnancy. It's a win-win.

[13:01] Fact 7: Women Can Orgasm Prematurely

Dr. Bawa: Number seven. Women too can orgasm prematurely. A 2011 study published in Sexologies addressed this issue. Serafim Carvalho led a study of 510 Portuguese women aged between 18 and 45, which showed that 40%, 40% people experienced premature orgasm at least occasionally. 14% had them frequently, and 3% had them all the time, which is proper sexual dysfunction right there. Like premature ejaculation, female premature orgasm can be upsetting for both partners. One study participant was literally quoted as saying, I finish very quickly, whereas my boyfriend doesn't get a chance to. Once I orgasm, I find it uncomfortable to continue. The mood changes and he ends up missing out, which I feel bad about.

[13:38] Fact 8: The G-Spot Is Still Unproven

Dr. Bawa: Number eight, let's talk about G-spots. There is no proof that the G-spot actually exists. I'm very well known for the O shots or orgasm shots, as they are known at my office, Bawa Medical. I'm often asked if I perform G-shots as well. I don't actually do that because I'm not convinced that they exist. The G-spot was first discussed by German gynecologist Dr. Ernst Grafenberg in 1950. He described a distinct region on the inner upper wall of the vagina that was very erogenous. It supposedly swells during sexual arousal and supposedly feels bumpy. This sounds great in theory, except that this area has never actually been proven to exist.

Dr. Bawa: There was another study in 2012 titled G-Spot Anatomy: A New Discovery, Big Brouhaha. Dr. Adam Ostrzenski claimed to prove its existence, but a subsequent study in 2017 completely refuted that. This was a study about the G-spot that actually studied 13 female cadavers. They dissected them, and it found that deep to the lining epithelium of the anterior vaginal wall is the urethra, and that there is no macroscopic structure other than the urethra and the vaginal wall lining in the location of this supposed G-spot. Specifically, there is no apparent erectile or spongy tissue in that part of the vagina, except where the urethra abuts the clitoral vestibule.

Dr. Bawa: And this right here may explain why this area may feel good. The clitoris is a horseshoe-shaped thing, and I often call it the seat of the female orgasm. It's not just a little pea hidden under the hood that you can touch externally. It extends a lot deeper and a lot wider. When this area is actually stimulated, women experience a clitoral orgasm, not a G-spot orgasm. So ladies, if you think you're having G-spot orgasms, you're not crazy, except you're having clitoral orgasms. The pleasure is real, but it's the clitoris again.

[14:16] Fact 9: Orgasms Can Improve With Age

Dr. Bawa: Number nine. Your orgasms actually get better as you age. Hallelujah! A study by Natural Cycles, a contraceptive app, surveyed 2,600 women. They divided these women into three basic groups: below 23, 23 to 36, and 36 and over. And of course, they found that orgasms, attractiveness, and the most enjoyable sex improved in the 36 and over group. Not only are these women settling into more long-term relationships as they get older, at least usually, they are also a lot more confident at this age, and they are able to communicate their needs to their partner much, much better.

Dr. Bawa: Another study showed that 61% of women aged 18 to 24 experienced orgasm the last time they had sex, and 65% of women in their 30s did. So the numbers went up. This number increased with age. 70% of women in their 40s and 50s had an orgasm with their last sexual encounter. So ladies, there is hope.

[14:44] Fact 10: Men Fake Orgasms Too

Dr. Bawa: Number 10, and this is a good one. Men fake orgasms too. We know that women fake orgasm, but according to a study published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy, it appears that men are guilty of this too. The study surveyed 230 American and Canadian men aged 18 to 29 and found that they were faking 30% of the time, and these are the men who were actually admitting to it. Another study published in 2010 showed that men were faking it 28% of the time and women were faking it about 50% of the time. I think the numbers are higher, certainly for the women. The men in this study faked the most during vaginal intercourse.

Dr. Bawa: The most common reason they gave was that it gave their partner an ego boost. They also did it to be sexy, to avoid upsetting their partner, and because they were drunk. The least common reason guys have faked it is because the partner was unappealing. So ladies, there's, well, at least that's a relief. Interestingly, the men who were faking orgasms were found to be happier in their relationships, both sexually and romantically. They cared more about not hurting their partner's feelings. While this may be a good prognostic factor, I do believe that honesty is indeed the best policy, and honest discussion about this will lead to better long-term satisfaction. This conversation is far from over.

Dr. Bawa: Watch out for part two of this important discussion. We have many myths to bust and a lot of happiness and pleasure to bring to your life. So make sure you are following the Dr. Sex Fairy Podcast. Until next time.

[16:38] Recorded Outro

Dr. Bawa: I hope you enjoyed the Dr. Sex Fairy Podcast today. I would love to continue this conversation with you. If you would like my top three secrets for amazing sex, send me an email at askme at drsexfairy.com and I will share them with you. Don't forget to follow this podcast and leave me a five-star review. Until next time.