Ep. 138: How to Give & Get Better Orgasms: Listener Questions Answered

[00:00] Introduction: Listener Questions About Orgasms

Ep. 138: How to Give & Get Better Orgasms: Listener Questions Answered

Host: Dr. Kanwal Bawa | Runtime: 17 mins | Published: July 30, 2024

Dr. Bawa: Welcome to America's top sexuality podcast, Dr. Sex Fairy. I am Dr. Kanwal Bawa, America's favorite sex doctor, and I am here to transform your life. Today, we are diving into one of the most popular topics on this podcast—orgasms. I get so many questions about this that today I am going to address some of your most frequently asked questions on the podcast itself. Whether you are struggling to achieve orgasm, or you simply want to enhance your experience, or that of your partner, I have got you covered.

Dr. Bawa: We have talked about orgasms in several episodes of the Dr. Sex Fairy Podcast, and I will tell you which episodes to go listen to after this one a little later in this episode so do grab a pen and paper. For now, let’s get started with some of the questions from our wonderful listeners. Could your question be the one being answered today? Maybe!

[01:05] Question 1: Never Had an Orgasm

Question 1: “Hi Dr. Bawa, I’m Sarah. I am 32, and I’ve never had an orgasm. Is there something wrong with me?”

Answer 1: Hi Sarah, thank you for reaching out. First, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Many women have difficulty achieving orgasm, and it can be due to a variety of factors including stress, anxiety, or even not knowing what your body needs. While you haven't specified, it appears that you haven't had an orgasm with masturbation either. I recommend that you start slowly with self-pleasure. There are multiple toys on the market, and I recommend that you try a few. Clitoral stimulation is the best way for a woman to orgasm.

Answer 1: Try to get toys that focus on that area in particular. Have you discussed this with your partner? Unfortunately, so many women are faking orgasms and I hope that you are not one of them. Faking an orgasm will give your partner the impression that the current scenario is working. Tell your partner how you were struggling to orgasm and work on it together as a team. Oral sex may do the job that penetrative sex isn't doing. If you would like more personalized advice, consider scheduling a virtual or in-person consultation by calling 1-877-DRSEXFAIRY.

[02:32] Question 2: Lasting Long Enough for Her to Orgasm

Question 2: “Hello Dr. Bawa, my name is Tom, I’m 45, and I struggle to last long enough to please my wife. It takes her so long to orgasm. What can I do?”

Answer 2: Hi Tom! This is a common concern, but there are effective strategies you can try. You haven't mentioned how old your wife is but I am guessing that she is dealing with hormonal fluctuations and vaginal issues, plus a woman takes about 20 minutes to orgasm anyway while the average man lasts about 5 minutes. Given the fact that this is teamwork, the numbers work against us.

Answer 2: You haven't mentioned how long you last but practicing the stop-start technique during masturbation and sex can help you build control. Additionally, focusing on foreplay and ensuring your partner is highly aroused can help make the entire experience more satisfying. You may be able to get her to orgasm before you even penetrate. And then you can try for her to have another orgasm before you ejaculate.

Answer 2: I think you will find the multiple cutting-edge treatments offered at my practice Bawa Medical, to be beneficial in enhancing your sexual performance, plus we can enhance your wife’s orgasms with the BawaShot® as well. Don't hesitate to reach out for a virtual or in-office consultation. And do start using Dr. Sex Fairy supplements, which are U.S.-made and loved by couples around the world for their effect on performance, pleasure and libido for both men and women.

[04:13] Question 3: Orgasms Alone but Not With a Partner

Question 3: “Dr. Bawa, I’m a 28-year-old woman named Lisa. I have trouble reaching orgasm with my partner but not when I’m alone. Why is that?”

Answer 3: Hi Lisa, this is more common than you might think. You know your body better than anyone else so it is easier for you to please yourself than it is for your partner. Sex toys and masturbation for women often focus on clitoral stimulation because that's how most women orgasm. Traditional penetrative sex is more about thrusting. Try incorporating some of the techniques you use alone into your partnered sex. Open communication with your partner about your needs is crucial. Encourage your partner to focus on more clitoral stimulation.

Answer 3: Consider using one of your toys during sex, plus there are plenty of toys that couples can use together as well. You will find this to be a game changer in your sex life.

[05:16] Question 4: Going Soft Before Orgasm

Question 4: “Hi Dr. Bawa, I’m Mike. I’m a 35-year-old guy, and I have started going soft before I can orgasm. This is embarrassing and I have stopped initiating sex with my girlfriend because of it.”

Answer 4: Mike, you are not alone. 30% of men in their 30s suffer from some form of erectile dysfunction. It's crazy but ED starts very young and it can exist anywhere on the road between perfect erections and no erections at all. The most common cause of erectile dysfunction is blockages in blood vessels but it isn't the only reason why men suffer from it. Hormones can play an important role in this situation. People don't realize that men start losing testosterone at the rate of one or two percent a year at age 30.

Answer 4: Moreover, I don't know which medications you are on, if any. Those can make a difference too. And then there's the issue of performance anxiety, which you mentioned you are feeling. This can be a vicious cycle in and of itself because not being able to perform properly is giving you anxiety and then that anxiety is going to keep you from being able to perform properly. Give me a call so that we can discuss it further and go into the details. And remember, you don't have to be present at my office physically for us to talk.

[06:52] Question 5: Perimenopause, Desire & Orgasm

Question 5: “Dr. Bawa, my name is Emma, I’m 40 years old, and I’ve noticed a major decrease in my sexual desire and ability to reach orgasm since my periods became irregular. I hate how this makes me feel about myself and my relationship. Are there any specific treatments that could help me regain my sexual desire and improve my ability to orgasm?”

Answer 5: Hi Emma, hormonal changes during perimenopause can absolutely affect your sexual desire and orgasms. These changes can also lead to vaginal dryness and pain with sex. We need to check your levels so that we know exactly what is happening with them. Plus we need to see how the rest of your life is going. Work, money, chauffeuring our children and other aspects of our life can certainly dampen desire as well. I have found hormone balancing therapy very effective for my patients at my medical office here in Boca Raton.

Answer 5: I do see patients virtually and I'm happy to discuss this with you as well. Moreover my Dr. Sex Fairy supplements are an incredible tool in my tool belt. Passion is the supplement that helps with libido and sexual function, and then there is Enhance®, which boosts nitric oxide and therefore blood flow. We need to stop thinking of blood flow only as a male issue with regard to erections. Women need good blood flow just as much. Your vaginal canal will thank you.

Answer 5: There are also multiple treatments available to you and you can read more about them at drsexfairy.com. Know that you don't have to navigate this alone. I hope this helps.

[08:43] Question 6: ED, Diabetes & High Blood Pressure

Question 6: “Hello Dr. Bawa, I’m James. Over the past year, I’ve noticed a decline in my ability to maintain an erection, which is making it difficult to achieve orgasm. I’ve heard about various treatments at your office, but I’m unsure which would be best for my situation. Can you tell me what I need? I am 52 and I also have Diabetes and high blood pressure.”

Answer 6: Hi James, erectile dysfunction can be due to various factors, including age, stress, and overall health. Lifestyle changes like regular exercise, a healthy diet, and reducing alcohol intake can make a significant difference. I don't know which medications you are taking for high blood pressure but there are certain medications that can directly affect your sexual performance. Moreover, I don't know how controlled your diabetes is. You see, diabetes can have far-reaching effects on the body from the eyes to the kidneys to sexual function and so much more.

Answer 6: I would like to see your latest blood work and definitely your comprehensive medical history and medication list. There are several treatments that can likely help you. BawaWave® helps both men and women reduce or eradicate the blockages in their blood vessels which improves sexual function. This uses shockwave therapy. I promise you, it's painless! Then there is radiofrequency. BawaRF® is radiofrequency and heat based rejuvenation for both men and women. The BawaShot® uses your blood to help heal you. And these are just a few of the treatment options available.

Answer 6: Contact me for a proper consultation even if it is just a phone call, and we can come up with a plan. People travel to us from all over and we have getting several treatments done in a short period of time down to a science. Additionally, my Dr. Sex Fairy supplements can support overall sexual health.

[10:51] Question 7: Difficulty Reaching Orgasm With a Wife

Question 7: “Dr. Bawa, I’m Jessica, 55, and my wife and I have a great relationship, but I often struggle to reach orgasm during sex. We’ve tried different positions and even some toys, but it still feels like there’s something missing. I don’t want her to feel inadequate, and I want to enjoy our sexual relationship more. What can we do to improve my chances of reaching orgasm?”

Answer 7: Hi Jessica, it's wonderful that you have a supportive relationship. Sometimes, reaching orgasm can require a combination of physical and emotional stimulation. Women in same sex relationships tend to orgasm more than heterosexual women. You see, it helps that your partner has the same parts and knows how they feel. That said, any relationship can be tricky. Are you both getting along well? Are there other stressors driving you crazy? Have you started any medications recently, and have you checked your hormones? The problem may be that your clitoris has shrunk. Crazy as that sounds, it happens.

Answer 7: I have had a lot of success improving clitoral size and sensitivity in my patients with the BawaShot in single visit. There are several other treatment options for complete non-surgical vaginal rejuvenation as well. We can talk about it in detail. Call my office when you get a chance.

[12:20] Question 8: Lasting Longer to Match Her Pace

Question 8: “Hi Dr. Bawa, I’m Robert, 68, and my wife often takes longer to reach orgasm than I do. This sometimes leads to frustration for both of us. I want to be able to last longer and better match her pace, but I’m not sure how. Are there exercises or treatments that can help me improve my stamina and ensure a more synchronized sexual experience?”

Answer 8: Hi Robert, it's great that you're seeking ways to improve your sexual connection with your partner. And foremost, don't expect orgasm at the same time. Couples rarely do. I understand that lasting can become a problem as one gets older. Practicing techniques like edging, where you bring yourself close to orgasm and then pause, can help you last longer. Also, focusing on her pleasure through extended foreplay and using techniques like oral sex can help her reach orgasm more quickly. You will also benefit from Dr. Sex Fairy supplements, which are formulated to enhance sexual endurance and pleasure.

Answer 8: For more advanced options, consider calling my office at 1-877-DRSEXFAIRY.

[13:33] Question 9: Orgasm Difficulty With an Older Partner

Question 9: “Dr. Bawa, I’m Natalie, a 29-year-old woman, and I have difficulty reaching orgasm with my current partner who is much older. My previous relationships were different, and I didn’t have this issue. This situation is causing some tension between us because my partner feels like he’s doing something wrong. How can I help him understand and work with me to improve our sexual satisfaction? He gets so upset and always takes it personally.”

Answer 9: Hi Natalie, it is important to approach this situation with empathy and open communication. Reassure your partner that this isn't about his performance but about exploring new ways to connect and find what works for both of you. Your age difference may be leading to insecurity on his part as well. Experimenting with different forms of foreplay, positions, and even incorporating sex toys can enhance your experience. Don't forget to be patient and kind to each other throughout this journey.

[14:38] Question 10: Weaker Orgasms & Less Ejaculation

Question 10: “Hi Dr. Bawa, I’m John, a 55-year-old man. Recently, I’ve noticed that my orgasms aren’t as intense or satisfying as they used to be. This change is affecting my overall enjoyment of sex. I don't even ejaculate as much. I’ve been following your podcast and TikTok for a long time and I keep wondering which of the treatments will help me.”

Answer 10: Hi John, it's not uncommon for orgasm intensity and your ejaculation to change with age, but there are ways to enhance your experience. Kegel exercises can help strengthen the pelvic floor muscles to some extent, and since the pelvic floor plays a crucial role in orgasm intensity, every bit helps. You haven't told me anything about your medical history. Do you have prostate problems? Any medication changes? As I mentioned earlier, BawaWave®, BawaRF®, and the BawaShot® help men and women alike. I also want to check your labs. Moreover, my Dr.

Answer 10: Sex Fairy supplements are designed to boost sexual health and satisfaction. For a comprehensive evaluation and a personalized treatment plan, schedule a consultation with me by calling 1-877-DRSEXFAIRY.

[15:55] More Dr. Sex Fairy Episodes About Orgasms

Answer 10: 10 questions! This was a marathon episode but one that was necessary. Orgasms are a vital part of sexual health and well-being but boy, are they complex and multi-factorial. There are several Dr. Sex Fairy episodes that cover this topic. A few that come to my mind are episode 21 Surprising Facts About Orgasm, and episode 35, Surprising Facts About Orgasm Part 2. You should also listen to episode 118 5 Ways to Biohack Your SexSpan. This episode discusses multiple aspects of sexual health and longevity which directly impact your orgasmic potential.

[16:33] Closing

Answer 10: Don’t forget to subscribe and leave the Dr. Sex Fairy Podcast and me a review. Share this episode with your partner, and friends whether you are watching it on YouTube, or listening on one of many podcast apps like Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Remember, pleasure matters. It is important to explore and communicate, and to not hesitate to seek professional help when needed. Until next time.