Ep. 132: Sex, Porn & Misconceptions: Silvia Saige Exposes the Truth

[00:02] Episode Preview: Does Porn Make People Cheat?

Ep. 132: Sex, Porn & Misconceptions: Silvia Saige Exposes the Truth

Host: Dr. Kanwal Bawa | Guest: Silvia Saige | Runtime: 24:47 | Published: June 18, 2024

Dr. Bawa: I have noticed some interesting misconceptions about porn myself. I have had people come and tell me that they consider their partner watching porn as cheating, and also that watching porn made their partner cheat. And I disagree on both.

Silvia Saige: Yeah, I can't see how it would make them cheat. I think that's something that you are going to do on your own. that's a decision that you've made mentally. That's not something porn is forcing you to do. There's no porn actress coming to your home, knocking on your door, and being like, you better sleep with me right now.

[00:46] Porn, Misconceptions, and Sexual Performance

Dr. Bawa: Welcome to Dr. Sex Fairy, America's top-rated sexuality podcast. I am Dr. Kanwal Bawa, America's favorite sex doctor, and I am here to transform your life. Our topic today is controversial. Pornography is a multi-billion dollar business. The porn website X Videos gets 700 million more total visits than Amazon and 1.5 billion more visits than Netflix. Clearly, a lot of people are watching pornography, but there is a lot of hypocrisy surrounding it. There is also a large group of people who say that porn is causing the breakdown of modern-day relationships.

Dr. Bawa: Some even blame it for the rise in sexual problems like erectile dysfunction. But is that really the case? Anything in excess is bad, and porn is no different. I have no skin in the game either way. I am not for pornography or against it. I am simply facilitating an important discussion. My guest today is famous adult star Silvia Saige. She has been performing stand-up comedy for 12 years and is also the host of a podcast titled Sexy Funny Raw. Stay tuned for a conversation that is sure to make you rethink not just porn, but pleasure, sex, and sexual performance. Welcome, Sylvia. It's so great to have you on the Dr. Sex Fairy podcast.

Silvia Saige: Oh, thank you so much for having me. I'm happy to be here.

Dr. Bawa: You are a fun guest to have. You are smart, you are sassy, and you are so entertaining.

Silvia Saige: Oh, thank you.

[02:23] The Biggest Misconceptions About Women in Porn

Dr. Bawa: What do you think are the biggest misconceptions about porn? Why is it considered the enemy?

Silvia Saige: Oh, I'm so glad you asked. I feel like there are so many misconceptions about the porn industry. The first being that women in the industry are here against our will. I think a lot of times people have this idea in their head of women in sex work that they're being forced into it, that they aren't happy to be here. When in fact, I don't know any females in this sex industry who don't want to be here. I have never had a job that's lasted this long.

Silvia Saige: I've had a 10-year career in the adult industry, and I can't see any reason to leave. it does give us so much power and so much body autonomy that we necessarily that we didn't necessarily have in the real world. So I think that's the biggest misconception is that women are here because we have daddy issues or drug issues, and that's just certainly not the case for most people in pornography. I'm not saying that there isn't a small section that, you know, maybe shouldn't be here. but again, it's certainly not the norm.

Dr. Bawa: There are enough women with daddy issues who don't do porn, so there's that.

Silvia Saige: That's right.

Silvia Saige: I always tell people I have a very good relationship with my father. He's one of my very best friends, and he has really no judgment of me working in the adult industry. He's actually been on my podcast three different times talking about what it is like to have a daughter working in the adult industry. So it's nice to have a supportive family, and I certainly do.

Dr. Bawa: That's amazing. So, what else do you think people think about porn that isn't true at all?

[04:02] Who Really Has the Power in the Adult Industry?

Silvia Saige: I think a lot of people see it as a very dirty and seedy industry to be in, that it is more male-driven, and it is certainly more for the male gaze, but that's just strictly because that has um widely been our audience. Now that is changing in today's society. I feel like more and more women are coming over to porn as viewers and as performers themselves. What's been nice is the uptake of OnlyFans has really allowed just the everyday person to then become a sex symbol or a sex worker in a lot of terms.

Silvia Saige: And it's kind of making it more acceptable to be a sexual woman, which I could not be happier about. But I think a lot of people still see it as a very man-driven place, which again, especially now with the development of the internet and people owning their own sites, it is honestly run by the women. Women are in control, women make more money than men in the industry. We make um almost, I would say 10 times more than our male counterparts in the um female in the adult industry, and that's one of the only places where you'll find females making more money than men.

Dr. Bawa: Wow, I had no idea. That's huge.

Silvia Saige: Yeah, our males do make um money the more they're into their career. A lot of men stick around for 10, 15 years in the industry, which that doesn't have the shelf life for females as much as men in our industry, but they don't really start making even comparatively um the same size check until they've been in the industry for 15 or 20 years and have really proven themselves to be a top-notch male talent. And what that means to be a top-notch male talent is that you always show up, you can always get hard on command, and you can always come on command, which for a male can be a very difficult thing to do, especially when you are surrounded by other people in the room, camera crews, PAs, makeup, hair people, everyone watching you.

[06:09] Porn Performers and Sexual Performance

Dr. Bawa: And I have people who come to my office who are in the adult industry, and just like you and I have talked about, their reality is very different from what is shown on screen with all the editing. So they are getting treatments in my office for their performance. They are getting BawaWave®, which is my proprietary form of shockwave therapy, where we are breaking down blockages in their blood vessels, not just in the penis, but the groin overall. And so blood is flowing, and so they are growing. And that's really helping their performance. And it's so much better than just popping the Viagra and Cialis.

Silvia Saige: Mm-hmm. Oh, absolutely. I can imagine because what a lot of people don't realize is that you can um get so used to the Viagra and Cialis that they will stop working after a while for you as well. So when you have a dependency on something like that, it can become a dangerous place also to where it's no longer even working in your benefit.

[07:04] Why Viagra and Cialis May Seem to Stop Working

Dr. Bawa: Well, you know why it's not working? People think that it stops working because your body just gets used to it. But in reality, what happens is that over time your blockages are growing. So when doctors give you a prescription for Viagra and Cialis, they give you the prescription and get you off their back. They're like, here, go. You're happy, they're happy, right? I mean, they have a hard penis, you have them out of the office, everybody wins. But in reality, nobody is winning because the doctor has done you a disservice, because it's a simple, you know, band-aid to the problem. It's not fixing it in any shape or form. So over time, you know, this is what Viagra and Cialis do.

Dr. Bawa: So hopefully people can see this. So suppose this is a blood vessel and it has a blockage, and the blockage is taking up this part of the blood vessel. Well, over time, there's less and less blood going around it. Now, Viagra and Cialis can take that blood vessel and widen it, they'll dilate it. And so more blood is coming. But remember, the blockage is still very much there. Nothing has been done to fix that. So over time, what happens? You're going to keep getting worse over time. So that blockage keeps growing. Now the blood flow has thinned down to this again. Now your blood vessel can only stretch so much. So now your function has gone down. So you think, well, it's not working. Well, it isn't working, but it's not because the medication isn't working, it's because you have gotten worse.

Silvia Saige: I don't know. I just think that's very interesting. and something I didn't even realize because I truly thought it was what you'd said before, also, that their bodies are just kind of getting used to having this in their system and it's no longer doing that. But you're right, it's the blockage is still there with or without those medications. So it's very interesting.

Dr. Bawa: Yes, it's I think uh disservice to everybody because nobody's getting better. The only person really benefiting is the drug company, right?

[08:51] Porn, Stigma, and Mental Health

Silvia Saige: Mm-hmm. Very true. Very true. I think another big stereotype of the industry is that the mental anguish that's being put on a lot of these performers. Everyone wants to feel like they are better than someone, and it's very easy to tell yourself that you are better than a porn actress. When I see mental illness and depression and suicide within the industry, I know it's not from the industry itself. Walking into the adult industry has been one of the healthiest mental things I could have done for my sexuality. This is a place of other adults who have basically said, we don't conform to what the outside world says. We're going to do these activities and we are going to do it responsibly and respectfully. And there is no shame within the adult industry.

Silvia Saige: We're all very big supporters of each other. And although it may seem like competition, we are, you know, there is a lane for everybody. So I think in the adult industry, we are, you know, we're kind of forced to be each other's safe place, but the outside world is where the real negative space comes in. And when you see these adult performers who are having, you know, mental health issues, it's all the noise from the outside world. It's not going on, not what's going on within the porn industry. It's everyone telling you that you are worthless, that no one will love you, that you are trash, that you are tarnished simply by being a sexual person. And that to me is what I really struggle with, and I really want to end the stigma on because we really are just people.

Silvia Saige: We are someone's daughter, we are someone's son, we are, you know, brothers, sisters, some of us are mothers, some of us are fathers. And we're good people. We're good people who still have a moral compass. You know, I'm still um out here doing all of the things that I would do as a normal person when I worked in the um hospitals that I do, you know, I do those same things for other humans working in the porn industry. So it hasn't changed who we are as people, but it's the outside stigmatization of all these porn actresses that are really doing the harm.

[11:06] Does Porn Cause Erectile Dysfunction?

Dr. Bawa: Believe it or not, I am also seeing a lot of stigma against the adult industry in my office. There are people who come in who complain that their spouse isn't able to perform in the bedroom because of pornography. So women will say, he just can't get it up anymore. It's all that porn he watches. Or men themselves say, you know, I caused my ED. I used to watch porn, and I just feel that that's really caused my problem. And I have to explain to them that no, porn is entertainment. That's not causing your ED. ED is a physical problem. Now I'm not saying there's not a mental component to it. I'm not saying that some people can maybe expect their partner to look like the porn actress or have some issues like that. But porn in and of itself is not causing anybody's erectile dysfunction. It's not making your penis change. That's ridiculous.

Silvia Saige: Yeah, porn gets a lot of um gets placed with a lot of issues, erectile dysfunction being one of them. Or, you know, we've all heard of the people having a porn addiction where they're just watching too much porn. But to that, I would say there it you can have too much of anything. You can have too much water, you know. So too much of anything can hurt your system, even if it is healthy for you. And I think sex is one of the healthiest things that people can do for themselves. The amount of endorphins it releases, you know, sex is the best physical activity you can do for yourself. Mentally, it just puts you in such a better place and honestly makes people happier, people to be around. so there is so much good physical health that comes from it and good mental health that it comes from it as well. But you're right, it is really just um taking a beating for being the problem child for a lot of people's issues.

[12:53] Porn, Cheating, and Self-Pleasure

Dr. Bawa: Yes, it's blamed for cheating, for instance. Oh, he cheats on me because he started watching porn and that just twisted his mind.

Silvia Saige: Which is so interesting because um I would never see watching porn as cheating. now I can understand how maybe some women may feel like it does hurt their feelings because again, like you've mentioned, maybe they don't look like the women on the screen, and now in their head, they've thought to themselves, well, how can I please my partner if this is what he's watching? But really, the self-pleasure is so important, and we discussed this on an episode that we had done in the past as well. Is if you aren't knowing what your own sexual desires are, how can you expect to communicate them to anybody else and expect anybody else to be able to reach those with you? and as much as I want porn to not be an educational thing, it still can be a way to explore new things, it still can be a way to see maybe what other people are doing, you know.

Dr. Bawa: I have noticed some interesting misconceptions about porn myself. I have had people come and tell me that they consider their partner watching porn as cheating, and also that watching porn made their partner cheat. And I disagree on both.

Silvia Saige: Yeah, I can't see how it would make them cheat. I think that's something that you are going to do on your own. that's a decision that you've made mentally. That's not something porn is forcing you to do. There's no porn actress coming to your home, knocking on your door and being like, you better sleep with me right now.

Silvia Saige: You know.

Silvia Saige: I can guarantee nobody's doing that for you. so it I don't understand how anyone can say that porn made them do something. You know, it's the same way that people tried to, you know, blame the rap industry for, you know, violence or things of that nature. People are going to do what they're going to do. Um and it's not like porn is even really promoting cheating. I don't, you know, it might be promoting an open lifestyle, but I don't think porn is going, sex is gonna be way better with your neighbor if you don't tell your wife. You know, it's not one of those things. So that's a decision people are making all on their own. No one is holding their holding a gun to their head on that.

Dr. Bawa: Yes, and that's a form of consensual non-monogamy. That's not really cheating.

[15:14] Porn Is Entertainment, Not Sex Education

Silvia Saige: So I definitely think a lot of people do turn to porn for, you know, educational purposes. And what they are seeing is these women getting kind of treated like, you know, sexual toys. There's a lot of, you know, pounding, we call it the um the jackrabbit. We uh where that's just the quick fucking um instead of like a more love-making, a slower process. When in real life, that's not necessarily working for women. Again, porn is giving you this exaggerated idea of sex and where women are having orgasms in every position, which is just not logical.

Silvia Saige: So, what you're seeing on screen is something that for one, everyone has already consented to off of camera. So, even when you are seeing a woman in a rougher position, she has agreed to be a part of this. And when you are having sex with a general person in public, you're not really coming to them with a consent list beforehand and go, are you okay with me treating you like a sex toy? When in porn, we have agreed to that. So, again, this is where don't take porn for real life. It is 100% a movie and it is entertainment, and that's exactly what it's meant to be.

[16:27] Can Porn Help a Relationship?

Dr. Bawa: Sylvia, do you think porn can be a positive influence on relationships?

Silvia Saige: I 100% think that porn can be a positive influence in the way of maybe seeing some positions that you hadn't necessarily seen before or felt comfortable doing. most people, when they're having sex, they're having sex in the basic positions, being missionary, you know, doggy or a cowgirl. But it can be nice to try different things that you have seen on porn. Now, not all of these um are necessarily going to be comfortable or even going to really be best for everybody getting off, but it is nice to just see other people being sexual. and women watch porn for the same reasons that men do to get sexually stimulated. When you're watching somebody in those moments, it is getting your blood pumping, it is getting your sexual arousal up. So, watching that with your partner, you can both get aroused to a state where you do want to become intimate with each other and again see maybe different things that you weren't trying that maybe those people are trying that you would like to incorporate into your sex life as well.

Dr. Bawa: And some people just have it on as background, you know, people have music, some people play porn while they have sex.

[17:38] Arousal Through Sound and the Senses

Silvia Saige: Absolutely. Sometimes just hearing those sounds can really get us going. a lot of people don't realize how many of your senses are really going when you are into sex, but having somebody whisper into your ear even can really, especially for myself and a lot of women I know, just you know, that little whisper just immediately turns into blood pumping and wetness into your vagina, and just the thought of sex comes out. So sometimes just hearing those noises, those moans, you know, the slapping of any of that, hearing those sex noises can really get you going. Uh so I think a big question that I want to know personally, since I am an aging woman still having sex, how would I go about being naturally more wet?

[18:24] Preserving Vaginal Function and Natural Lubrication

Dr. Bawa: I think that's a wonderful question. Preserving function is so much better than coming back after the fact to fix it. Though we can fix it even after the fact. So I think to make you wetter naturally, I would do a few different things. Firstly, I do BawaWave®. I do shockwave in my office to, you know, the nth level. I have found a protocol that has worked very well for both men and women. Now, shockwave is considered a male treatment, but I am a bit of a maverick in the world of sexual medicine, so I'm doing it for women as well. And I'm also doing radiofrequency of a very high level.

Dr. Bawa: So I'm doing radiofrequency, but I'm also doing radiofrequency microneedling, which most people didn't even know could be done inside a vagina. So that really rejuvenates a vaginal wall full thickness. So you have more collagen, more elastin. I mean, think about it this way: as women get older, our faces aren't what they used to be 20, 30 years ago. Well, why should our vagina? Why should we expect our vagina to function at its A level no matter what? We're aging. We're aging everywhere. So these treatments can really be a game changer for women and help with lubrication, but they can also help with more stimulation, more sensation, and more orgasms. I also do the shot, BawaShot®. Some people ask me if it's the same thing as a P-Shot, and it isn't. It's my technique, it's what I have done. I do it painlessly. So I can actually inject your clitoris um with your own growth factor. I know, don't go out. Don't, don't, don't. And um

Silvia Saige: No, I'm just very intrigued.

Dr. Bawa: Yeah, yeah. And so I am able to inject the clitoris and the vaginal canal with your growth factor from your blood, which I concentrate down into platelet-rich fibrin matrix. I am also using exosomes. I'm sure you've heard of stem cells, but stem cells have another person's DNA in them. And you actually have your own stem cells in your body, but as we age, they don't work as well. And sometimes they need to be nudged into doing what they're supposed to do. So when you get exosomes, they're coming from another person, but they don't have DNA. So they're the active ingredient of a stem cell. So we take the good stuff out of it, put it back into your vagina or your um clitoris, and because, you know, they are two different things, and we can have amazing results. It really turbocharges the BawaShot®.

Dr. Bawa: So these are just a few of the many things I can do to help you be wetter and you know, make things better. I also have a supplement called Enhance®. you know, my patients were taking all these weird supplements, and you could never tell where they were made. Their back would always say distributed by so-and-so, never made where. And very often you couldn't even tell what was in them. So I would tell my patients not to take them. They said, okay, well, give me something else. And so I did.

Dr. Bawa: And my supplements are U.S.-made, and Enhance® increases nitric oxide. And again, people think that's only for erections. While Enhance® works beautifully to increase erections and make them better, it also helps vaginas. So there's also Renew®, which is my testosterone booster. And again, we're talking about myths and misconceptions on this episode, and people think that only men need testosterone. You and I need it just as much. And then, of course, I have Passion®, which is a libido booster, and uh that helps men and women have better libido and better sexual function. So, talk about the things we can do. We should have you come over and get some treatments here. We'll get you to have the vagina of your dreams forever.

Silvia Saige: I would love that. That sounds amazing. As you were going through all that, I thought, boy, I need to get myself down to Florida.

Dr. Bawa: You do. Come and I'll, you know, take you out to dinner as well. We'll have a good time of it.

Silvia Saige: I would love it. We'll get my juices appropriately flowing again. I love it.

[22:15] How to Find Silvia Saige

Dr. Bawa: Yes, ma'am. And talking about juices flowing, I'm sure people want to know more about you and check out your podcast and your social media. How can they find you?

Silvia Saige: Absolutely. They can find me online, um Silvia Saige on Instagram. It's the SilviaSaige on Twitter or X, it's SilviaSaigeXXX. You can find me on OnlyFans at SilviaSaigeXXX, and my podcast, Sexy Funny Raw, is on YouTube, OnlyFans TV, and all streaming networks.

Dr. Bawa: And check out my episode on it as well.

Silvia Saige: Yes, coming very soon.

Dr. Bawa: Coming very soon. And by the time this episode airs, maybe it's already uh been aired, and people should go check it out anyway.

Silvia Saige: Perfect. I would love that.

Dr. Bawa: Thank you so much, Sylvia. Lovely talking to you, and I'm so happy that you came and did some myth busting for us.

Silvia Saige: Absolutely, happy to do it anytime.

[23:08] Recorded Outro

Dr. Bawa: Today we ventured into the controversial territory of pornography, a multi-billion dollar industry that remains shrouded in stigma and debate. Through our discussion, we have peeled back at least some of the layers of misconception and examined the complex relationship between porn, relationships, and sexual health. I hope that our conversation has ignited a spark of curiosity within you, prompting deeper reflection on the role of pornography even in your own life. Remember, balance is key. A heartfelt thank you to Silvia Saige for sharing her insight and perspective. As I end this episode, I encourage you to continue this dialogue in your own circles.

Dr. Bawa: Share this episode with your partner and friends. Feel free to contact me through my website, drsexfairy.com. You can always give us a call at 1-877-DR-SEX-FAIRY or fill out the contact form on the website. Check out my links in the podcast description below, including a link for the Dr. Sex Fairy supplements. Subscribe to the Dr. Sex Fairy Podcast on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and don't forget to leave me a review. Your subscriptions and reviews will help this podcast grow. For those of you on YouTube, like this video, share it with your partner and friends, and subscribe to the Dr. Sex Fairy channel for more wonderful content to come. Until next time.