Ep. 66 - 10 Sex Hacks You Should Try Today

[00:08] 10 Sex Hacks You Should Try Today

Dr. Bawa: Welcome to the Dr. Sex Fairy Podcast. I am Dr. Kanwal Bawa, America’s favorite sex doctor and I am here to transform your life. Our topic for this episode is “10 Sex Hacks You Should Try Today.” Make sure you listen till the end because I am going to give you practical tips that will make your sex life more fun, more pleasurable and a lot less stressful. You will learn how to please your partner and enjoy sex more yourself.

Dr. Bawa: Let’s launch right in.

[00:45] Sex Hack 1: Make the Clitoris Part of the Main Event

Dr. Bawa: 1. If you have difficulty lasting as long as you want to, you are going to need to become great friends with a tiny little part of her anatomy. I often call it the seat of the female orgasm. If you are a man looking to please his woman, make sure that the clitoris is an important part of your foreplay. In fact, you should rethink the word foreplay altogether.

Dr. Bawa: The act of pleasing your partner can be so pleasurable to both of you that penetration pales in comparison. This way you take care of her, and make sure that she has a sheet-gripping, mind-numbing orgasm before you even penetrate. You can also hold off on bringing her to orgasm, and penetrate towards the end. That way, even if your erection doesn’t last as long as you both want it to, you will need to last a lot less time for her to finish. She feels desired… and fulfilled. You have your pleasure.

Dr. Bawa: There are now two happy partners who will want sex more often! Everyone wins. If you are a woman listening to this sex hack, introduce your partner to it. If your partner does not like talking about these things, perhaps you can gently guide him down there. The result will speak for itself, and you can mention that you’d like to do that again the next time around. Both men and women should listen to Episode 33 of this podcast titled “Bridging the Orgasm Gap” to learn more about how a woman can begin to orgasm more often.

Dr. Bawa: One of my sex hacks today is a way for a man to last longer. Ladies and gentlemen, stay tuned for that one. For now, let’s move on to sex hack number 2.

[02:31] Sex Hack 2: Use a Sex Sheet

Dr. Bawa: 2. I want you to start using a sex sheet. What is a sex sheet, you ask? It is a sheet or blanket that you place on top of your normal bedding to keep from making a mess that either requires you to change your sheets when you’d rather fall asleep, or sleep on wet spots. Using a sex sheet also frees you up to be more adventurous with where you have sex. Having sex on a couch is a great way to mix things up, but I’m sure that neither you nor your partner will be happy when you stain the upholstery fabric with semen, vaginal fluids, lubricant, etc. It also frees you up to be creative with sex and use ice or chocolate syrup or something else that pleases you both.

Dr. Bawa: This is an especially good idea when you realize that the average married couple only changes their sheets every 19.9 days. This scary number comes from the Mattress Advisor survey, which goes on to say that single people only change their sheets every 37 days on average. Single men usually wash them less often than single women. And here is another interesting number from the same survey. It appears that people wait anywhere from 4 to 11 days after sexual activity to wash their sheets. Cleanliness is next to godliness, people. Use a waterproof sex sheet.

[04:08] Sex Hack 3: Treat Sex Toys as Teammates

Dr. Bawa: 3. A sex toy is your friend, not a competitor. Not only should you not get passive-aggressive or insecure about your partner’s sex toy, you should buy them one! If the idea is to bring your partner pleasure, it should be all hands… or tongues and sexual aids on deck. There are plenty of great sex toys on the market for both men and women, as well as for couples to use simultaneously. If you are too tired for full-on main course intercourse, try a few different appetizers. It will keep things interesting and bring you both pleasure without the work that can sometimes go into penis-in-vagina or anal intercourse.

[05:02] Sex Hack 4: Make Oral Sex More Comfortable

Dr. Bawa: 4. This sex hack is inspired by the complaints of my patients regarding blowjobs. They often complain and say, “Dr. Bawa, he wants me to give him a blowjob but I hate doing it. I always feel like I’m going to vomit.” And so, I present to you sex hack number 4.

Dr. Bawa: If you want to give him a blowjob but don’t want to be choking on his penis, put the tip into your mouth, lubricate it with spit or edible flavored lube, and use your hand on the shaft to make up the difference. He will still get suction and friction, and you won’t be on the verge of vomiting wishing for it to be over. To learn how to give a great blowjob and enjoy it yourself, don’t forget to listen to Episode 46 of the Dr. Sex Fairy Podcast titled “The Art of the Blowjob.”

[06:08] Sex Hack 5: Change Your Sex Position

Dr. Bawa: 5. Change up your sex position. While I don't expect you to contort yourself into every sex position out of the Kama Sutra, I do recommend that you mix things up a little at least occasionally. Aren't you tired of the man-on-top, woman-on-the-bottom missionary position? Maybe she finds doggy style painful, or you want to look at her face as you penetrate. Listen to Episode 65 of this podcast titled “The Hot Sex Position to Try Tonight” to learn a great sex position out of the Kama Sutra that is actually doable, and helps a woman orgasm. I go into detail in the episode and describe how to have sex in that position. If you want a simpler version of that position, use a chair. When you listen to Episode 65 you will know what I mean.

[07:05] Sex Hack 6: Put Sex on the Schedule

Dr. Bawa: 6. Start putting sex on your schedule. I can almost hear you groan when I say this. This may sound boring when you first think about it, but I want you to think of it differently. Life has a way of getting in the way of sex. You get busy. You make plans. Your partner and you may work opposite shifts. You may be running around town taking your kids to activities or birthday parties. Maybe your partner likes having sex in the mornings but you prefer evenings. Once you commit to having sex on a certain day at a certain time, you aren't just adding yet another task on your To Do List, you are committing to your partner, and you are committing to pleasure.

Dr. Bawa: Instead of making this boring, you can actually send each other naughty messages during the day. You might kiss them on the neck flirtatiously before you both head out the door. Remember when you were dating, and you actually looked forward to meeting your partner? Remember when you made an effort to take a shower and dress up? Your partner and you should try that again. Brush your teeth. Put on a beautiful negligee. Spray some perfume on your body. Shave down under. Trust me, this will be a game changer.

[08:37] Sex Hack 7: Coconut Oil as Lubricant

Dr. Bawa: 7. If you run out of lube or don’t want to use a commercial lubricant, you can always use organic coconut oil. It is soothing and moisturizes the vagina. It is best to have a coconut oil bottle you only use for sex. Remember not to use coconut oil if you’ve been double dipping while cooking. You don’t want to rub spices on your penis or inside your vagina. That may be a kind of fiery sex you hadn’t bargained for. Also avoid using coconut oil if you are prone to yeast infections as it can alter the pH of the vagina.

[09:23] Sex Hack 8: A Way to Last Longer

Dr. Bawa: 8. If you are worried about lasting long enough during sex, try masturbating and ejaculating an hour or two before the big moment. You will likely last longer during sex. I don’t recommend that you do this immediately before sex with your partner because men have a refractory phase, or a period after sex where they find it difficult to get another erection at all, or an erection hard enough for sex. This refractory period can vary, and you should experiment to see how long it takes you on average. Check out Episode 24 of this podcast titled “When Fast & Furious Is A Bad Thing” for more information on premature or early ejaculation, and to learn other tips to last longer.

[10:15] Sex Hack 9: Kiss for at Least Seven Seconds

Dr. Bawa: 9. Kiss your partner every day for at least 7 seconds at a time. You must think I have lost my mind with this one. It seemed so obvious, doesn't it? And 7 seconds seems like a very short kiss. Unfortunately, couples are not kissing as much as they should, and they barely put any effort into it when they do. According to a survey conducted by the British Heart Foundation, 18% of married couples don't kiss their partner for a week at a time. 40% of them kiss for less than 5 seconds. If you can’t even kiss for at least 7 seconds at a time, how are you going to heat things up?! And how are you going to feel connected to your partner? Kissing is good for us. It releases dopamine and oxytocin, which are feel-good hormones that promote bonding. Kiss more! Doctor’s orders.

[11:18] Sex Hack 10: Lube the Inside of the Condom

Dr. Bawa: 10. Lube up your condom… on the inside! Men often dislike condoms because they don't feel as good… but not only do condoms reduce the chance of unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, they can be fun for both of you when you use textured or flavored condoms. To make sex with a condom feel better, put a squirt of lube inside the condom before you put it on. And of course, lots of lube on the outside.

[11:52] Share the Sex Hacks

Dr. Bawa: I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Dr. Sex Fairy Podcast, and found these sex hacks helpful. I am going to add links in the podcast description below so that you can check out the episodes mentioned in the various sex hacks. Share this episode with at least 5 people to spread the word of fun, enjoyable and safe sex. Don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast and leave me a 5 star review! Tell me which episodes you have enjoyed the most. I love reading your reviews. Feel free to email me topics you would like me to discuss at askme@drsexfairy.com. Until next time.